48.Some people say that outdoor activities benefit children's development rather than computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #activities #benefit #children #development #computer #games

Some individuals

argued

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

that those

activities

which

children

can play outside are more beneficial than computer

games

This

essay agrees with the statement because physical

activities

help in maintaining better health

as well as

get

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

opportunity

Add an article

the opportunity

an opportunity

show examples

to learn some skills with each other , both these

benefit

Change the noun form

benefits

show examples

help in the growth of the

children

. Outside

activities

include

Wrong verb form

including

show examples

running, soccer , basketball etc

plays

Correct subject-verb agreement

play

show examples

very

Add an article

a very

show examples

important role

to maintain

Change preposition

in maintaining

show examples

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle for

children

. The major

issues

Fix the agreement mistake

issue

show examples

every

parents

Change to a singular noun

parent

show examples

facing that their

children

gaining

Wrong verb form

gain

show examples

weight due

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

number of hours

children

spending

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

on screens for study

as well as

playing

games

on smartphones .

Therefore

, outdoor

games

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

to reduce the overweight issues by doing physical

activities

as well as

these

activities

do not give strain to

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

eyesight

also

For example

, research shows that most of the

children

in the United

Kingdom's

Change noun form

Kingdom

show examples

gain their weight

due to

lack of physical

activities

. Another reason is that outdoor

games

involves

Change the verb form

involve

show examples

children

to learn skills like

team work

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

time

Correct word choice

and time

show examples

management and

improves

Correct subject-verb agreement

improve

show examples

social interaction

Rephrase

apply

show examples

also

In other words

, if a group of

children

plays together

then

they understand the importance of the other

team mates

Correct your spelling

teammates

show examples

and

this

gives opportunity to

children

to improve

social

Correct pronoun usage

their social

show examples

interaction which helps

Change preposition

apply

show examples

boost their confidence level and build motivation

also

. In conclusion , people should give priority to outdoor

games

in order to improve their

Change noun form

children's

show examples

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle and

also

provide

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

children

to learn leadership skills.

Submitted by kmlchahal97 on Thu Mar 21 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance Task Achievement, ensure that your essay not only agrees or disagrees with the statement but also thoroughly explains your standpoint with adequately developed ideas and arguments. Aim to add more specific, real-world examples to substantiate your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

For better Coherence and Cohesion, focus on linking words and phrases to smoothly transition between ideas and paragraphs. Consider revising some sentences for clarity and simplicity, ensuring that each paragraph flows logically to the next.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

246 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

benefit
development
physical
promote
foster
social skills
teamwork
cognitive skills
problem-solving
abilities
well-being
hinder
isolation
interpersonal skills
sedentary
exposure
negatively affect
academic performance

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48.Some people say that outdoor activities benefit children's development rather than computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Your opinion

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Some people think that in order to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be banned in city centers, while others consider this to be an unrealistic solution. discuss both sides and give your opinion.

For celebrities and other famous people, it is always good ot be talked about ni the media (e.g. Internet, newspapers, TV). Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer

The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+