IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets should have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods, while others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #manufacturers #supermarkets #responsibility #amount #goods #customers
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There are controversial perspectives heating a debate over
Use synonyms
commodities
Change the noun form
commodity
show examples
 packaging.
While
Linking Words
 some claim
that is
Linking Words
 indispensable for producers and
supermarkets
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 to take liability for mitigating the amount of
goods
Use synonyms
 packaging, the other makes a statement that it is vital for buyers to avoid purchasing
commodity
Fix the agreement mistake
commodities
show examples
 with a myriad of packaging. Each opinion has its own perks, I would contend that it is ideal to combine both mentioned factors. Without a shadow of a doubt, manufacturers and
supermarkets
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 play a
significance
Replace the word
significant
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 role in alleviating
packages
Use synonyms
 of
goods
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.
This
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 is owing to the fact that by doing so the environment can be prevented from pollution. To be more specific, factories can manufacture their
commodities
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 with greener materials
such
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 as
using
Verb problem
apply
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paper bags which can be reusable for abundant times.
Moreover
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,
supermarkets
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 can reduce
this
Linking Words
 situation by giving extra
voucher
Fix the agreement mistake
vouchers
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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 any customers who do not utilize the original
packages
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 but bring their own bags.
Therefore
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, it is crucial for producers and
supermarkets
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 to mitigate the quantity of packaging of their
goods
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.
While
Linking Words
 the role of reducing
packages
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 of
commodities
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 by manufacturers and
supermarkets
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 is widely acknowledged, it is dispensable for shoppers to refuse
spending
Change the verb form
to spend
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 money on
goods
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 with lots of packaging.
This
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 is probably because their activity can contribute to
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 conservation. Specifically, customers can make use of recycle
packages
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such
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 as tote bags to carry out their products whenever they go out
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping.
Therefore
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, buyers should put
premium
Add an article
a premium
show examples
 on avoiding purchasing
commodities
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 with a huge of packaging. In conclusion, manufacturers and
supermarkets
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 need to
accountable
Add a missing verb
be accountable
show examples
 for alleviating the quality of
commodities
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’
packages
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.
Moreover
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, it is crucial for customers to prevent utilizing
goods
Use synonyms
 with a wealth of packaging.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task achievement
To improve your essay, start by ensuring that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis statement. This lays a solid foundation for the reader.
task achievement
Develop your main points more fully by including more specific examples and evidence. This helps to strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating a more logical flow between your ideas. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your essay and clearly show how your ideas are connected.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position. This reinforces your argument and provides a strong finish to your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Eco-friendly
  • Carbon footprint
  • Excessive packaging
  • Biodegradable materials
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Consumer advocacy
  • Environmental stewardship
  • Waste reduction
  • Recycling initiatives
  • Green practices
  • Minimalist lifestyle
  • Resource conservation
  • Sustainable consumption
  • Packaging alternatives
  • Regulatory measures
  • Ethical choices
  • Environmental impact assessment
  • Renewable resources
  • Compostable packaging
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