It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. What do you think is the reason for a growth in the rate of juvenile crime? What solutions can be offer to deal with thi

Nowadays , there is a rise
minor
Change preposition
in minor
show examples
crime
.
This
is usually regarded that , the main
cause
for
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
crimes
is the
media
as
children
get influenced by the
wrong doings
Correct your spelling
wrongdoings
show examples
through the
media
and
cause
crimes
. If questioned, I think
this
is the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
juvenile
crime
. My position is
further
elaborated in the upcoming paragraphs with some points regarding why
media
is the
upmost
Correct your spelling
utmost
show examples
cause
for violence by
children
as well as
also
provided some solutions to tackle the problems with valid examples and
explainations
Correct your spelling
explanations
. Discussing the main
cause
, the first and foremost argument is that , in
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
era, a lot of
news
related to
crimes
can be seen
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
media
.
For instance
, if
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young age
children
watch the
news
of
crime
,
then
they will get influenced by it and tend to
do
Verb problem
engage in
show examples
fighting, robbery,
abusing
Replace the word
abuse
show examples
and
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
more
crimes
, as they are immature and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
don't know what is right or wrong.
As a result
, they will just do things shown in the
media
.
However
, there are numerous steps which can be taken into action by their parents or the government to tackle the problem of young
children
doing
crimes
, First of all , the parents or guardians shouldn't let the young ones
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
watch
crime related
Add a hyphen
crime-related
show examples
news
or movies . They should supervise them and sure their child is always some interesting and fun programs .
Further
, the authorities
also
should take action by punishing the people who make
crime related
Add a hyphen
crime-related
show examples
movies and who encourage small ones to watch
crime
shows by fining them heavily.
Hence
, in
this
way folks can put a stop to
crime
done by
children
.
To sum up
, I agree that
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
is the biggest
cause
which is influencing minor
children
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
doing
Verb problem
commit
show examples
crimes
by showing them
crime
news
.
Therefore
, the government and the
children
's parent must take action against it by giving punishment who make
crime related
Add a hyphen
crime-related
show examples
movies and by
nor
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
letting the child to watch
crime
shows .
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Clearly structure your paragraphs with one main idea per paragraph, supported by specific examples or explanations. Link these ideas using appropriate transitional words or phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task by ensuring that your essay responds to the question asked. Provide a balanced discussion that includes your opinion, reasons for your view, and possible solutions with examples where relevant.
task achievement
Increase the specificity and detail of your examples to strengthen your arguments. Rather than making general statements, use concrete examples that illustrate your points more vividly.
coherence cohesion
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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