IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that studying at college or university is important for successful career. Others think that it is better to quit school and find work to gain experiences for a successful professional life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #college #university #career #school #work #gain #experiences #life
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There has been debate over whether
people
 should be studying or working to be successful
people
. Some
people
 claim that
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a good
career
 is acquired by studying at university
while
 others argue that experiences are more essential than studying to be a successful professional. I believe
to be
Verb problem
that
show examples
 a successful person needs to have a good educational
also
 experimental background and
this
 essay will discuss it. On the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
 will provide
individuals
 with knowledge which increases their value to get a job. Many
people
 believe that academic institution will prepare their students very well to become a professional worker who has credibility.
For instance
, expertise in field
education
 typically requires advance obtained by formal
education
.
On the other hand
, the work
experience
 is invaluable for a professional
career
. Many
individuals
 believe that practicals provide
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 to develop essential skills in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
,
such
 as communication, problem-solving and teamwork.
Moreover
, experiences can lead to a faster
career
 and
also
 be a good professional. In my opinion,
education
 and
experience
 play important roles in being a successful professional. I believe that a combination of academic and work
experience
 is the most effective way to
career
 development which increases knowledge
also
 skills in the workplace.
This
 combination will help
people
 to be
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
 person in
careers
Correct pronoun usage
their careers
show examples
. In conclusion, I believe that a balanced combination of academic learning and practical
experience
 will allow
people
 to be successful professionals in
careers
Correct pronoun usage
their careers
show examples
. The academic will increase the knowledge of
individuals
while
 working
experience
 will provide
individuals
 with essential skills.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a logical flow by linking ideas clearly. Use cohesive devices effectively to connect paragraphs and ideas within them.
coherence cohesion
Introduce your essay with a clear thesis statement that outlines your opinion or the direction of your argument. This helps in guiding the reader through your ideas.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific, detailed examples. These can be from your own experience, studies, or observations, and they add weight to your arguments.
task achievement
Make sure your conclusion summarizes your main points and clearly restates your opinion. It should give the reader a sense of closure and completeness.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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