It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. 🔸Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

It is predicted that after
few
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a few
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years the number of aged individuals in some nations
would
Wrong verb form
will
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exceed the total of teenagers living in those nations. I believe
that is
a negative trend
beacuse
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because
it adds
extra
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an extra
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burden to
government
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the government
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and there would be no
economical
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economic
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growth in these countries.
To begin
with, in many states
the
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apply
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health care is handled by the government.
Generally
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Generally,
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people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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often
gets
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get
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sick if they are getting old.
Therefore
, the count of
elder
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the elder
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population is directly
propotional
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proportional
to the
amout
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amount
of funds
spend
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spent
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by the states.
Additionally
, the workers
demands
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demand
show examples
high wages for moving to these cities.
For example
,
few
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a few
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cities in Canada are occupied
with
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by
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aged
couple
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couples
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,
Canada
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and Canada
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is investing a lot of funds to build care houses in these areas.
Dispite
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Despite
of funds the workers are not willing to relocate to
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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of areas
beacuse
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because
of poor development.
Furthermore
,
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a nations
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nations
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nation's
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economy depends on the average revenue of the
citizines
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citizens
. Suppose there are only
few
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a few
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teenagers in a city which leads to
work force
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a workforce
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imbalance. The
numbers
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number
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of manforce jobs in the market would rise and finding perfect workers for these tasks would become tough.
Thus
,
this
scenario impacts the GDP of the country.
For example
, Canada needs more workforce than the current population inside the country. So it accepts
higher
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a higher
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number of
temperory
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temporary
residents to balance the economy. In conclusion,
to
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in
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my way of thinking if the count of retired persons
are
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is
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higher than the count of
current
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the current
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generation is not good for
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the govement
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govement
Correct your spelling
government
movement
and countries GDP.
Submitted by avinashsanaka on

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task response
To improve your essay, consider developing a clearer and more detailed introduction that outlines your main arguments and sets the stage for your discussion. This will help provide a roadmap for your readers and establish a strong foundation for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay could benefit from clearer paragraph structure, with distinct topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Aim to develop each main idea with specific details and examples, which will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
task response
To enhance your task achievement score, make sure to address all parts of the prompt thoroughly. Your essay should not only state whether you view the trend as positive or negative but also explore the implications of this trend in depth, supported by specific examples and explanations.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • proportion
  • mentorship
  • strain
  • public healthcare systems
  • pension schemes
  • workforce
  • economic growth
  • automation
  • consumption patterns
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • sustainable living
  • environmental conservation
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