It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. 🔸Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

It is predicted that after

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

years the number of aged individuals in some nations

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

exceed the total of teenagers living in those nations. I believe

that is

Linking Words

a negative trend

beacuse

Correct your spelling

because

it adds

extra

Correct article usage

an extra

show examples

burden to

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

and there would be no

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

growth in these countries.

To begin

Linking Words

with, in many states

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health care is handled by the government.

Generally

Add a comma

Generally,

show examples

people

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

often

gets

Correct subject-verb agreement

get

show examples

sick if they are getting old.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the count of

elder

Add an article

the elder

show examples

population is directly

propotional

Correct your spelling

proportional

to the

amout

Correct your spelling

amount

of funds

spend

Change the form of the verb

spent

show examples

by the states.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the workers

demands

Change the verb form

demand

show examples

high wages for moving to these cities.

For example

Linking Words

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

cities in Canada are occupied

with

Change preposition

show examples

aged

couple

Fix the agreement mistake

couples

show examples

Canada

Correct word choice

and Canada

show examples

is investing a lot of funds to build care houses in these areas.

Dispite

Correct your spelling

Despite

of funds the workers are not willing to relocate to

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of areas

beacuse

Correct your spelling

because

of poor development.

Furthermore

Linking Words

Correct article usage

a nations

show examples

nations

Change noun form

nation's

show examples

economy depends on the average revenue of the

citizines

Correct your spelling

citizens

. Suppose there are only

few

Change the article

a few

show examples

teenagers in a city which leads to

work force

Correct your spelling

a workforce

show examples

imbalance. The

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

of manforce jobs in the market would rise and finding perfect workers for these tasks would become tough.

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

scenario impacts the GDP of the country.

For example

Linking Words

, Canada needs more workforce than the current population inside the country. So it accepts

higher

Add an article

a higher

show examples

number of

temperory

Correct your spelling

temporary

residents to balance the economy. In conclusion,

Change preposition

show examples

my way of thinking if the count of retired persons

are

Change the verb form

show examples

higher than the count of

current

Add an article

the current

show examples

generation is not good for

Correct article usage

the govement

show examples

govement

Correct your spelling

government

movement

and countries GDP.

avinashsanaka

Mar 22, 2024

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task response

To improve your essay, consider developing a clearer and more detailed introduction that outlines your main arguments and sets the stage for your discussion. This will help provide a roadmap for your readers and establish a strong foundation for your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay could benefit from clearer paragraph structure, with distinct topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Aim to develop each main idea with specific details and examples, which will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.

task response

To enhance your task achievement score, make sure to address all parts of the prompt thoroughly. Your essay should not only state whether you view the trend as positive or negative but also explore the implications of this trend in depth, supported by specific examples and explanations.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

aging population
proportion
mentorship
strain
public healthcare systems
pension schemes
workforce
economic growth
automation
consumption patterns
intergenerational solidarity
sustainable living
environmental conservation

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It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. 🔸Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

Some people argue that it is the government's responsibility to transport children to school while others believe that parents should do that. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The unlimited use of cars may cause problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give a reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

You want to join a local sports club but you would like some more information before joining. write a letter to the manager of the sport club. In your letter, say how you found out about this sport club, give details of an activity you want to do, ask some questions about the club.