The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Australia in 2010 and 2015.

The

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

pie graph illustrates information concerning the online shopping retail part(Electric&appliance, Food&Beverage, Home Furnishings, Video Games, Gift Items, and books) in Australia for the years 2010 and 2015. Looking at the

overall

perspective, it is readily apparent that one of the popular items was

Electric&appliance

Correct article usage

the Electric&appliance

show examples

part.

In contrast

books

Change the noun form

book

show examples

sales were the lowest percentage. A cursory glance at the data reveals that Electric&appliance was the biggest ratio and it was taking up 27%.

In Addition

, the part of Food&Beverage, Home&Furnishings, and Video Games indicated similar proportions in online shopping and sales for

retail

Add an article

the retail

show examples

sector. These ratios were accounting for 21%, 22%, and 19%, respectively.

On the other hand

, another eye-catching feature is that Gift items and Books sections in online shopping were taking up small proportions of online shopping sales and these

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

consisting of less than a quarter 7% and 4%, each.

Submitted by wowoo04066 on Sat Mar 23 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

144 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

retail sectors
online shopping sales
growth trend
declined
remained stable
fastest-growing sectors
technological advancements
consumer behaviour
marketing strategies
market saturation
competition
consumer preferences
emerged
innovation
product/service offerings
spending habits
economic factors
social factors
technological factors

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The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Australia in 2010 and 2015.

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

Many people living in cities these days do not get enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this? What are some possible solutions?

Some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have very high salaries compared to other workers of lower positions in the same company. To what extent do you agree?

Human activity had had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. SOme people think this cannot be changed with others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both side of views and give your opinion.