The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Australia in 2010 and 2015.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

pie graph illustrates information concerning the online shopping retail part(Electric&appliance, Food&Beverage, Home Furnishings, Video Games, Gift Items, and books) in Australia for the years 2010 and 2015. Looking at the

overall

Linking Words

perspective, it is readily apparent that one of the popular items was

Electric&appliance

Correct article usage

the Electric&appliance

show examples

part.

In contrast

Linking Words

books

Change the noun form

book

show examples

sales were the lowest percentage. A cursory glance at the data reveals that Electric&appliance was the biggest ratio and it was taking up 27%.

In Addition

Linking Words

, the part of Food&Beverage, Home&Furnishings, and Video Games indicated similar proportions in online shopping and sales for

retail

Add an article

the retail

show examples

sector. These ratios were accounting for 21%, 22%, and 19%, respectively.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, another eye-catching feature is that Gift items and Books sections in online shopping were taking up small proportions of online shopping sales and these

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

consisting of less than a quarter 7% and 4%, each.

Submitted by wowoo04066 on Sat Mar 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.

▼

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

144 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

retail sectors
online shopping sales
growth trend
declined
remained stable
fastest-growing sectors
technological advancements
consumer behaviour
marketing strategies
market saturation
competition
consumer preferences
emerged
innovation
product/service offerings
spending habits
economic factors
social factors
technological factors

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good member of society. Others however believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some argue that it's the parent's responsibility to teach children how to be good members of society, while others think school is the best place where they should learn to become valuable members.
7
band
Nowadays, news companies spend a lot of money covering international news. However, local news is more relevant to people's lives and should receive more funding.' To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Currently, the print media invest more money in publishing global news. However, it is argued that domestic news deserves more coverage and funding than the foreign updates . This essay agrees with this statement as it is the only source of local updates for people and it improves the relationship between the government and its citizens.
5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
Nowadays, people are curious to find out the story behind the place which they are living in. They might have bought it recently or the place maybe their paternal house which has been built by their ancestors. In this essay I will discuss the ways which can guide the owners to find their answers and also the reason why they are doing this and in the end I try to draw some conclusions.
<4
band
How do you use technology in your daily life? How has the way you use technology changed over time? Include specific examples in your answer.
Im a student of computer science, therefore I encounter the use of technology most often.
7
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
The phenomenon of people living longer than ever before has become a prominent demographic trend in numerous countries. While some argue that an ageing population poses challenges for governments, others assert that there are substantial benefits to having more elderly individuals in society. In my perspective, the advantages of having an ageing population clearly outweigh the disadvantages, as it brings about opportunities for intergenerational knowledge transfer, fosters a wiser society, and enhances cultural richness.

The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Australia in 2010 and 2015.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good member of society. Others however believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

How do you use technology in your daily life? How has the way you use technology changed over time? Include specific examples in your answer.