IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You have just returned from a holiday. You are unhappy with the quality of the hotel you stayed in and want to complain to the travel agency that arranged the holiday. Write a letter to the manager of the travel agency. In your letter, say about the holiday and where you stayed mention why you are unhappy about the hotel where you stayed say what you would like the travel agency to do

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with your services. I recently purchased a holiday
package
Use synonyms
 from your company, and it did not meet my expectations at all. The
hotel
Use synonyms
 arranged for my stay by your company gave me
hard
Correct article usage
a hard
show examples
 time during my stay. To explain
further
Linking Words
, I bought three nights in the Paris holiday
package
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 and my stay in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Paris was included in the
package
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. I stayed at XXYZ
hotel
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 and must say that
this
Linking Words
 was one the worst
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 of my life. The room I stayed in was quite good only until I found that its heating system did not work. I found it hard to sleep at night, on complaining
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
about this
show examples
 incident to
hotel
Use synonyms
 management, I got a rude reply stating that you should report
this
Linking Words
 to your travel agency. I was disappointed
that
Change preposition
at that
show examples
 time. I want an official letter from the
hotel
Use synonyms
 management I stayed in, apologizing for their rude behaviour.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I would appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
 you could update your standards to review and finalize the
hotel
Use synonyms
 to be included in a holiday
package
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. I hope you will take my request under consideration and take
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
 steps required to make sure problems like
this
Linking Words
 will never happen again. Looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Sameer Rana

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Task Achievement
To improve task response, ensure you provide specific examples or details about your experiences with the hotel, such as examples of the rude behavior or how the heating issue affected your stay. This will make your concerns more tangible and convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your logical structure is quite sound, but could be enhanced by more clearly delineating paragraphs and ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of your complaint. Consider using transition words or phrases to better connect your ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
It's great that you properly addressed and closed the letter. To further improve, consider adding a brief summary of your main points or a statement of thanks for the recipient's time and consideration at the conclusion of your letter.
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