In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealth. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #unhealth #people #government #responsibility

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Over the

last

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few years, offspring have had

increasingly

Change the adverb

increasing

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levels

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becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people argue that the country has the responsibility to tackle

this

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issue.

While

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there is some truth to

this

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belief,

Use synonyms

would disagree with

this

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point of view for some sound reasons. From one perspective, the

government

Use synonyms

has the respond to the

health

Use synonyms

of younger generations. The main argument is that overeating causes children overweight

also

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, and the

government

Use synonyms

should solve

this

Linking Words

issue. To explain, the

government

Use synonyms

has to ban unhealthy

foods

Use synonyms

for juveniles or they do not need to produce and sell because

this

Linking Words

situation may be very damaging for young generations.

As a result

Linking Words

, a reduced level becomes overweight among younger.

For example

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, some countries banned sugar goods, and fast

foods

Use synonyms

sold to the population.

Besides

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that,

Add an article

the

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society

recommended

Wrong verb form

recommends

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more walking, running and sports

such

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as these rules help to be healthy. If the USA had not banned selling some damaged

foods

Use synonyms

in their places, people would not have suffered from some diseases. From another angle, the

government

Use synonyms

does not have the responsibility to solve these issues because there are other matter problems than

this

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condition.

Moreover

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, not only society fathers and mothers should respond to their

health

Use synonyms

or children's

health

Use synonyms

problems. The

government

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always can not observe overeating in their population.

However

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, parents can help their boys and girls

that is

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they can have self-esteem

as well as

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younger ones .

For instance

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Use synonyms

do not buy unhealthy goods because

Use synonyms

know they damage

foods

Use synonyms

do not eat.

Consequently

Linking Words

Use synonyms

am not overweight among my friends. In a word, the society has not compulsory to tackle

this

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problem. In conclusion, the

government

Use synonyms

should ban some products for offspring and people do not need to overeat because

this

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is very beneficial for their

health

Use synonyms

Submitted by soglomovsarvar on Sat Mar 23 2024

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Coherence & cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs with specific examples, and a conclusion. This provides a logical structure to your ideas.

Coherence & cohesion

Use a variety of linking words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs, thus improving the flow and cohesion of your essay.

Task achievement

Address the task directly in your introduction and restate your position in the conclusion to ensure you provide a complete response.

Task achievement

Elaborate on your ideas with clear, comprehensive explanations and ensure that your examples are relevant and specific to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealth. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Education should be accessible to people of all economic backgrounds. All leveld of education, from primary school to tertiary education, should be free. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

In many countries, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fast food advertisements can be found on TV and throughout social media, which tempts people to eat unhealthy food. Should fast food be banned

Some people think that instead of preventint climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

More and more people in their free time are doing dangerous activities such as mounting climbing. Is this a positive or negative development?