Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead they get news about the world from the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, a lot of
people
have begun using the
internet
instead
of newspapers to know what is happening around the ward.
However
, there are some advantages and some disadvantages of
this
development. There is one main advantage of getting
news
from the
internet
which is saving
time
and money. To explain
further
, using the
Internet
to get the
news
around the world can happen from any place and at any
time
which is really useful for
people
. If someone is using newspapers to get the
news
,
for example
,
this
person needs to go outside his home to pick up his newspaper.
Therefore
,when we compete
then
the
time
that
people
spend to get their
news
is highly
big
Correct word choice
apply
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different.
In addition
, using the
internet
to get the
news
, does not need to pay money to do it because
itis
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
simply happens by opening the device,
then
enter to
Wrong verb form
entering
show examples
the application and
then
easily
can check
Wrong verb form
checking
show examples
the
new
Correct word choice
apply
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news
. Using the
internet
to get the
news
has one huge disadvantage which is lack of accuracy.
In other words
, lacking
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
accuracy happens basically because anyone in any place and at any
time
can rapidly share any
news
he wants with no guarantee
that is
right, and
also
no way to figure out if
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
this
news
is fake or not.
Therefore
,
people
who are using the
internet
should not trust the
news
, until they search for it in the right place. In conclusion, using the
internet
to get the
news
is a really positive development,
also
, it is highly useful for humanity.
Submitted by dihme on

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Introduction Improvement
Try to introduce the topic more clearly in the introduction. A clear thesis statement summarizing your position could enhance clarity.
Linking Words
For better coherence, use a wider range of linking devices between sentences and paragraphs. This can make your essay flow more smoothly.
Supporting Examples
While your essay discusses advantages and disadvantages, make sure to include more specific examples and explanations to support each point. This adds depth to your argument.
Task Response
Address the task more directly by explicitly stating whether you find the development positive or negative, and ensure this viewpoint is consistent throughout your essay.
Grammar and Accuracy
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and enhance readability. Pay attention to sentence structure and punctuation.
Concluding Paragraph
Work on developing more comprehensive conclusions that summarize your arguments effectively and restate your main standpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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