IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 admit that to prevent traffic problems and the high level of pollution
Correct article usage
the governmnet
show examples
governmnet
Correct your spelling
government
 should increase the
price
Use synonyms
 of petrol. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, because
such
Linking Words
forceful
Correct article usage
a forceful
show examples
 way would not work in a democratic country,
hence
Linking Words
 it most probably will cause disagreement among
people
Use synonyms
.
Instead
Linking Words
, it would be better to create comfortable infrastructure to motivate
people
Use synonyms
change
Add the particle
to change
show examples
 from private to public
transport
Use synonyms
. If change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the oil
price
Use synonyms
 would be rapid and drastic
then
Linking Words
 more likely citizens would be against those changes.
For instance
Linking Words
, individuals may start actively showing disagreement about political
decissions
Correct your spelling
decisions
 done by
president
Add an article
the president
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, most likely that would not decrease
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 number of private
vehicales
Correct your spelling
vehicles
,
hence
Linking Words
 the problem itself is still present.
Therefore
Linking Words
 that
desission
Correct your spelling
decision
 would have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 effect on
people
Use synonyms
's
mood
Fix the agreement mistake
moods
show examples
.
The
Correct article usage
An
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 effective measure would be to build an
infratructure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 for
people
Use synonyms
's
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Amsterdam there is a
bicycel's
Change noun form
bicycel
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 road system that covers
whole
Change the article
the whole
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 city,
therefore
Linking Words
 that ecofriendly type of
transport
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 dominates there.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, infrastructure for public
transport
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 is
also
Linking Words
 a core aspect
to solve
Change preposition
of solving
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 traffic and pollution problems,
therefore
Linking Words
 new metro stations should be built. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 most likely will be against
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
price
Use synonyms
 of
pertol
Correct your spelling
petrol
 increase.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it would be better
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
solved by creating infrastructure
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 ecological or public
transport
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, like bicycles, buses and metro. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with the statement that the most optimal solution for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic and pollution problems is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 petrol
price
Use synonyms
 increase
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it would not work
hence
Linking Words
 there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no conditions for
people
Use synonyms
 to change
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
transport
Use synonyms
.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a clear structure in your essay by having distinct paragraphs for your introduction, supporting arguments, and conclusion. Within each paragraph, your ideas should flow logically from one to the next.
Task Achievement
In your introduction, clearly state your position on the statement and briefly outline the main arguments you will discuss. This sets a clear roadmap for your essay.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with more detailed and specific examples. While the reference to Amsterdam’s bicycle roads is good, adding more specifics or other examples can help strengthen your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherency, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas within and between paragraphs. This helps in creating a smoother reading experience.
Task Achievement
Make sure your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position on the topic. This helps in providing a strong finish to your essay.
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