IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Write a letter to magazine and express your opinion about a problem you are faced with your neighbo

#magazine #neighbo
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Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with my
neighbor
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neighbour
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 and his habit which has been disturbing me since I moved to a
house
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 next to him. I am Lucy Brown and I have been living in a newly built
house
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 on 14th Avenue in London for 2 years. When I moved here, I
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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graduated from the Faculty of Economics, and
while
Linking Words
 living here I started my own business. Fortunately, my business fast has improved and my company's products are at the same level
with
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as
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 many companies
and
Correct word choice
apply
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the consequence of now that it is winter I am being forced in order to sign numerous international contracts on my PC at home when I came to
this
Linking Words
house
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, I didn't know my
neighbors
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neighbours
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 on
this
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 street and I didn't know about their
behavior
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behaviour
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 and hobbies because I was busy all day. but since I have been at home, every noise from the
house
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 of the resident on my left has prevented me from concentrating on my work. 2 weeks ago I knocked on his door to ask him the reason for the noise and I received some information that playing the drums is his hobby and he does it in his room
in out
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outside
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 of the course time.I spend time outside all day trying to protect myself from
this
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 noise, but at night it goes to the top position and I can not only do my work but
also
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 can not sleep as well I would like to request and to please that you explain to my
neighbor
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neighbour
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 that his playing
this
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 instrument disturbs the
other
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others
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inhabits near
Wrong verb form
inhabiting
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 his
house
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 and if it is possible, give him an atmosphere
elsewhere
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 to play the drums, or a
house
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 for me in the quiet streets of the city. I look forward to your reply and resolution to my problem. Yours sincerely Lucy Brown
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Your letter has a logical structure, but you could enhance it by clearly separating your introduction, main body, and conclusion. Use paragraphs effectively to guide your reader through your points.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing are appropriate for a formal letter. Maintain this level of professionalism in all your writing.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, which you've managed well. Aim to further refine this by smoothly transitioning from one idea to the next, using connective words or phrases.
task achievement
You have responded to the task requirements by expressing your complaint, providing background, and suggesting a solution. To improve your score further, work on offering more detailed specifics about how the problem affects your daily life and work, and clarify your desired outcomes more concisely.
task achievement
The tone of your letter is suitably formal, which is fitting for its purpose. However, to enhance your writing, avoid overly complex sentence structures that can make understanding more difficult. Strive for clarity and simplicity while remaining formal and polite.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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