You have been working for a company for some time and other rival companies are willing to employ you with a higher salary for all the practical experience you have gained

#company #time #companies #salary

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Dear Mr Brown I am writing to you about some circumstances related to the

company

and my work.

Last

weekend, I was offered a high-paying job by Uzum Market

company

. I would like to write you my

option

Correct your spelling

opinion

show examples

this

. I moved to

this

city

2 years ago because I was accepted to study

Change preposition

show examples

Webster

university

Capitalize word

University

show examples

through contact payment. Since I don'

have a private house or acquaintance in

this

city

I have been living here by renting a house in the center of the

city

to be close to the

university

and my workplace. As you know

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the Webster

university

Capitalize word

University

show examples

contact

Correct your spelling

contract

show examples

is $3000 per year and housing in the

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

city

Add an article

the city

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is not below $200. Your

company

has been paying me $200 a year since Uzum

market

Capitalize word

Market

show examples

is offering me $300 a year . I have to say that my wage doesn'

cover my expenses. I work not only at

yor

Correct your spelling

your

company

but

also

work at a restaurant as a waiter so that if I don'

pay my tuition fees I will be

expuled

Correct your spelling

expelled

from the

university

. I am leaving your office for the reasons I mentioned above and if you don'

raise my

earning

Fix the agreement mistake

earnings

show examples

I will be forced to continue working at Uzum market I hope you will accept my requirements. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely Lucy Kharmon

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Sat Mar 23 2024

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task achievement

It's important to ensure clarity and specificity in your request. Although you mention a desire for an increase in wage, being more specific about how much you believe is reasonable given your circumstances could strengthen your position.

coherence and cohesion

Work on the structure of your letter to clearly distinguish between an introduction, body, and conclusion. This not only makes your letter easier to follow but can also help emphasize your main points.

task achievement

Be consistent in providing specific examples and reasons that support your request or position. While you make a strong case for why the increase is needed, further detail could enhance your argument.

task achievement

Review and correct factual inaccuracies or inconsistencies, such as the indicated salary figures, which seem implausible. Ensuring accuracy will enhance the credibility of your letter.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

227 words

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You have been working for a company for some time and other rival companies are willing to employ you with a higher salary for all the practical experience you have gained

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be build instead. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?