Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your current response is missing a clear structure and does not address both views or provide a personal opinion as the task asks.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as firstly, however, in addition) to structure your ideas more clearly and improve the flow of your essay.
development
Develop your ideas more fully. Discuss both viewpoints on the use of technology in education versus traditional methods in schools, and support these ideas with specific examples or reasons.
accuracy
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. There are several errors that could confuse the reader or make your argument less clear.
completeness
Expand on your ideas and provide a more thorough analysis in order to more fully answer the question. A short response cannot fully cover the requirements of the task.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
Concentrating more resources on economic growth than other sectors such as health, study and the environment is rampant in some nations. The main benefits of this are more employment opportunities and a higher standard of living; however, the key drawbacks are more sick people and lesser quality of education.
Employees enjoyed less pressure in working until recently when the working duration was prolonged. The origins of this circumstance seek to stem from two causes, while several remedies appear to be practically implemented by employers.
I hope this letter finds you in radiant health and you are doing well. I am writing this letter in response to the advertisement published in the local newspaper about a teacher that you are looking for your children to teach Bangla language for a year.
To servive in this internationally linked world, many people have the opinion that students should learn about the major events which have been happening in the world by introducing a new subject into the official academic curriculum. However, others insist that young students are already fully occupied with existing subjects such as math, science, and additional languages which I also agree with.
There are two kinds of activities that are healthy and unhealthy, but millions of individuals practice bad activities such as watching movies or playing video games. I will explain why many people prefer unhealthy activities more than healthy activities and some solutions for this problem.