Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your current response is missing a clear structure and does not address both views or provide a personal opinion as the task asks.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as firstly, however, in addition) to structure your ideas more clearly and improve the flow of your essay.
development
Develop your ideas more fully. Discuss both viewpoints on the use of technology in education versus traditional methods in schools, and support these ideas with specific examples or reasons.
accuracy
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. There are several errors that could confuse the reader or make your argument less clear.
completeness
Expand on your ideas and provide a more thorough analysis in order to more fully answer the question. A short response cannot fully cover the requirements of the task.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
In recent years, there has been a trend in some countries where people get more and more interest about the history of the house or building they live in. This essay will discuss the reasons for the trend and the methods that can be used for historical research.
Society ensures that family is the key to children becoming well-mannered citizens. Conversely, others assume teachers will do better. In my view, both of them, Parents will develop their character descent while Teachers will increase children’s sense of ability and morals.
It is often said that the Internet's creation in the nineteenth made easier the way in which people could learn, work and study. The use of computers and mobile phones was seen at first as a democratization of knowledge, culture, and books. However, I think that this primary ideology was totally wrong following the side effects and trajectory and use of these devices. Indeed. I do think that computers and mobile phones for communication have a negative effect on people's reading and writing skills, especially for young people.
There is no doubt that using transportation namely bicycle helps in many ways such as reduce the emmision of fossil fuels into the atmosphere and and improve one's physical health.However, some arguments are among the public thinks that it has many demerits.In the next paragraph , I will dicuss on both views and provide my own opinion.
In some parts of the US, a rule which is named "Curfew", claims teenagers right to be outside the house after a certain hour in the evening without any adult beside them. I believe this is a good one and is helping to protect youth from dangers.