Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your current response is missing a clear structure and does not address both views or provide a personal opinion as the task asks.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as firstly, however, in addition) to structure your ideas more clearly and improve the flow of your essay.
development
Develop your ideas more fully. Discuss both viewpoints on the use of technology in education versus traditional methods in schools, and support these ideas with specific examples or reasons.
accuracy
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. There are several errors that could confuse the reader or make your argument less clear.
completeness
Expand on your ideas and provide a more thorough analysis in order to more fully answer the question. A short response cannot fully cover the requirements of the task.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
In the contemporary world, crime plays such a controversial part in our lives. It is asserted that providing useful knowledge to parents about teaching their offspring is the most effective method to reduce crimes at a young age. The writer wholeheartedly agrees with this statement because of responsibility and parent’s effect on children.
It is thought by some people that reading has been able to enhance creativity and language skills for their readers more than watching television. In this essay, this aspect will be discussed before reaching my opinion.
The question of whether the benefits of limitless accessibility to the food products that are produced in other parts of the world outweigh the disadvantages has been sparking debates for several years. Despite the fact that there are some drawbacks associated with the topic, in my opinion, the main benefits greatly outweigh the disadvantages.
A number of people advocate that the authorities and organizations should bear the entire responsibility in solving environemental issues. Moreover, individuals like citizens only can contribute little in improving the enviorment. I totally agree with the above statement and this essay will explain with two major reasons.