Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your current response is missing a clear structure and does not address both views or provide a personal opinion as the task asks.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as firstly, however, in addition) to structure your ideas more clearly and improve the flow of your essay.
development
Develop your ideas more fully. Discuss both viewpoints on the use of technology in education versus traditional methods in schools, and support these ideas with specific examples or reasons.
accuracy
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. There are several errors that could confuse the reader or make your argument less clear.
completeness
Expand on your ideas and provide a more thorough analysis in order to more fully answer the question. A short response cannot fully cover the requirements of the task.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
Recently, a significant number of individuals have found themselves dedicating the majority of their time to work. Drawing on past experiences, this writer contends that despite the drawback of feeling overwhelmed, the benefits of job promotion coupled with the acquisition of essential skills far outweigh the negatives.
Nowadays, there is a huge gap between the highest and lowest wages of an employee in many parts of the world. Despite some agreements with this inequality, many including me, believe this might lead to many unpleasant consequences which affect the workforce in a negative way. In this essay, I will discuss both ideas and express my agreement with the latter one.
A segment of the community argues that prioritizing local history over global history is more crucial. However, I strongly disagree with this assertion. Thanks to the rapid development of transportation and technology, we now inhabit a global village. Consequently, I believe there is no clear distinction between global and local history.
Thank you for agreeing to house-sit for me. If you need to contact me during my holiday, I’ll be staying at the Imperial Hotel in Bundaberg. If it’s urgent, however, please ring my mobile phone, which I’ll keep with me at all times. I’ve written the numbers on a sticky note which I’ve left on the fridge.
It is thought that life will not be possible in the near future because of the environmental crisis that humans have created, and in order to overcome the situation there are some people who believe that humanity should find another planet to survive. From my point of view, the possibilities of changing the Earth for others are insignificant due to all the challenges that we should face in order to succeed.