Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your current response is missing a clear structure and does not address both views or provide a personal opinion as the task asks.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as firstly, however, in addition) to structure your ideas more clearly and improve the flow of your essay.
development
Develop your ideas more fully. Discuss both viewpoints on the use of technology in education versus traditional methods in schools, and support these ideas with specific examples or reasons.
accuracy
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. There are several errors that could confuse the reader or make your argument less clear.
completeness
Expand on your ideas and provide a more thorough analysis in order to more fully answer the question. A short response cannot fully cover the requirements of the task.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
I hope you are doing great. I am writing this letter to tell you that I want to learn the French language and my friend suggests to me your name that the teacher is the best in our town to teach a new language.
In this era, more and more people tend to pick up some cosmetic surgeries to have a good look. Some factors like improving technology and also human desire are the main cause of this phenomenon which has a positive development in the economy and people's confidence.
Nowadays, people prefer to live in some accommodations which are apartments with no yard, which might be the result of the growing in numbers of population. Although it has some benefits, I believe that the downsides would cancel out the positive points.
Advanced technical instruments make youth to more on them. On the contrary, children should invest their leisure time in physical exercise and games such as cricket, and football. I firmly believe that young kids should spend more time playing sports and games outside. This would be beneficial majorly in first more social knowledge and second, is being more flexible in physical health.
There is no denying the fact that school rewards contribute positively toward students. Some people think that it is more valuable to reward students with distinct academic performance, while others believe it is more important to reward students with other types of success: sports, music, good behaviour, etc. This essay will analyse both points of view and express my opinion.