Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your current response is missing a clear structure and does not address both views or provide a personal opinion as the task asks.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as firstly, however, in addition) to structure your ideas more clearly and improve the flow of your essay.
development
Develop your ideas more fully. Discuss both viewpoints on the use of technology in education versus traditional methods in schools, and support these ideas with specific examples or reasons.
accuracy
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. There are several errors that could confuse the reader or make your argument less clear.
completeness
Expand on your ideas and provide a more thorough analysis in order to more fully answer the question. A short response cannot fully cover the requirements of the task.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
Many people believe that you have to visit the country to acquire knowledge about it, whereas others claim that the same can be achieved via TV and the Internet. While I think that TV and the internet are significant sources for learning, I hold the opinion that traveling the country is superior for the same purpose.
In the technological society, people can readily interact with music and find their taste in songs. There is an argument that music plays a pivotal role in reducing stress and anxiety in humans. From my perspective, I strongly agree with this idea.
With the advancement of research and technology in medical science, hundreds of new medicines are released into the market to cater to the human suffering. But before these medicines are made available for public use, they undergo a series of clinical trials, most of which are conducted on animals. Although this is the most accepted approach for clinical trials, many people condemn it and consider it cruelty to animals.
Recently, there has been a growing trend of online purchases of products in different countries. Although this makes a purchase of essential products quicker and easier, it could potentially result in shopping addiction. While there are various advantages and disadvantages associated with this topic, I am of the opinion that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
Nowadays, in some countries, it is believed that citizens should save their expenditure for their lives. Does it make some development for countries? Despite the challenging conditions, I totally agree that all population should save their funds for the future for the following reasons.