Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your current response is missing a clear structure and does not address both views or provide a personal opinion as the task asks.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as firstly, however, in addition) to structure your ideas more clearly and improve the flow of your essay.
development
Develop your ideas more fully. Discuss both viewpoints on the use of technology in education versus traditional methods in schools, and support these ideas with specific examples or reasons.
accuracy
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. There are several errors that could confuse the reader or make your argument less clear.
completeness
Expand on your ideas and provide a more thorough analysis in order to more fully answer the question. A short response cannot fully cover the requirements of the task.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
In some countries, there is an obligation to study for a minimum of twelve years. Because of that, many people nowadays succeed academically with a lot of pressure. But in some ways, some people think that other things besides academic subjects are not necessary anymore and should be removed from the school curriculum. If this opinion going to happen, will there be a balance of life?
I trust you are doing well. This is a reference letter for one of the potential candidates for the position of Sporting Instructor at your recreational facility.
There are controversial perspectives heating a debate whether taking part in a live event can bring more sense of intrigue than watching through a TV screen. From my point of view, I would contend that each of them have their own advantages.
Political leaders in developed or developing countries are elected through the voting method. Youth, in these times, are not well informed about their right to vote and neglect to perform this procedure. This could happen due to a lack of awareness, which in turn can end up in a wrong selection of the government.
I trust this correspondence finds you well. I am writing to you to apprise you of a recent incident at the airport and to request an appreciation for one of your staff members. Allow me to elaborate on this.