Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your current response is missing a clear structure and does not address both views or provide a personal opinion as the task asks.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as firstly, however, in addition) to structure your ideas more clearly and improve the flow of your essay.
development
Develop your ideas more fully. Discuss both viewpoints on the use of technology in education versus traditional methods in schools, and support these ideas with specific examples or reasons.
accuracy
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. There are several errors that could confuse the reader or make your argument less clear.
completeness
Expand on your ideas and provide a more thorough analysis in order to more fully answer the question. A short response cannot fully cover the requirements of the task.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
These days, businesses claim that their goods are different and unique as compared to others. In my opinion, making a great deal of money and people’s requests are the reasons for this trend. I am also convinced that it has its own drawbacks such as economic and environmental consequences.
Protecting the surroundings has become a pressing issue in many countries. While some contend that an individual’s contribution is vital, others argue that governments and big companies should play their leading role as well. This essay will explore both perspectives and explain why I support the former viewpoint.
In our modern day and age, many people are able to travel for leisure reasons. Touristic destinations have become crowded and devoted most of their activities to serve visitors which made some people think that tourism has negatively impacted their local culture while others believe it has a positive impact on their economy and employment. In this essay, I will discuss both points of view and give my opinion.
Climate change is among the principal dangers facing people nowadays, and ocean levels are increasing dramatically. The essay will first suggest that the biggest problems caused by this phenomenon are the loss of land and the flooding of homes and then argue that pollution reduction and building flood protection are the most viable solutions.
The prime responsibility behind maintaining a peaceful environment in our nation is the Police Force, and we have to salute them. Nowadays many nations have continuously decreased the strength of enthusiastic police officers in active public service. The local governments fail to provide necessary requirement facilities for them on-duty time. For that reason, many students are unable to choose the join courses in public servant which will be elaborated on in the following paragraph.