Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your current response is missing a clear structure and does not address both views or provide a personal opinion as the task asks.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as firstly, however, in addition) to structure your ideas more clearly and improve the flow of your essay.
development
Develop your ideas more fully. Discuss both viewpoints on the use of technology in education versus traditional methods in schools, and support these ideas with specific examples or reasons.
accuracy
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. There are several errors that could confuse the reader or make your argument less clear.
completeness
Expand on your ideas and provide a more thorough analysis in order to more fully answer the question. A short response cannot fully cover the requirements of the task.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
Nowadays, there is a myriad of opinions on what is best for young individuals to do after graduating high school. Although there are some merits to applying for a job straight after finishing secondary school, I strongly think that there are more benefits and a higher chance of success for students if they attend universities for more advanced education.
It is said that investment in railways is more significant than roads. While I believe that both roads and railways are significant, I prefer to agree with investing in railways due to more people can be encouraged to use public transportation and railways are one of the main ways to transport goods.
Choosing a vehicle to travel around the city is a controversial issue. Some people say that traveling by car is the best choice. Others believe that it would be better to use bicycles. There are different views on both sides, which I will elaborate on below.
Spending countless hours on the internet brings about various negative consequences to children's lives. Parents play a pivotal role in addressing these issues.
Technological change and the increase in personal wealth have contributed to the improvement in life expectancy, and many countries have seen their population ageing at an unprecedented pace. The problems of this demographic change far outweigh its positive impact.