Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your current response is missing a clear structure and does not address both views or provide a personal opinion as the task asks.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as firstly, however, in addition) to structure your ideas more clearly and improve the flow of your essay.
development
Develop your ideas more fully. Discuss both viewpoints on the use of technology in education versus traditional methods in schools, and support these ideas with specific examples or reasons.
accuracy
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. There are several errors that could confuse the reader or make your argument less clear.
completeness
Expand on your ideas and provide a more thorough analysis in order to more fully answer the question. A short response cannot fully cover the requirements of the task.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
It is true that there is a huge rise in the number of antisocial personal behaviour, often resulting in committing a crime. There are various reasons why this happens, but the government, community and family can take steps to address this issue.
The role of doctors extends beyond diagnosing and treating illnesses. They possess valuable knowledge and expertise that can empower patients to improve their health. Therefore, I strongly agree that doctors should be responsible for educating their patients about how to enhance their well-being.
In this generation, parents are frequently debating about their children. Especially, they feel hard, when they ask their children to read books. From my perspective, I totally agree with the statement. The main reason why children are not willing books is that a huge number of words are printed on every page of the book. Instead of conveying the message of books in words, we can try to transfer the knowledge in other ways. So, I will discuss the issue of why the kids are finding it hard to book, and what the ways to improve their reading skills.
I am writing this letter to express my complaint about the changing room at your sports centre. I sent my request several times by email. Thus, I could not receive a successful answer from your side.