Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your current response is missing a clear structure and does not address both views or provide a personal opinion as the task asks.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as firstly, however, in addition) to structure your ideas more clearly and improve the flow of your essay.
development
Develop your ideas more fully. Discuss both viewpoints on the use of technology in education versus traditional methods in schools, and support these ideas with specific examples or reasons.
accuracy
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. There are several errors that could confuse the reader or make your argument less clear.
completeness
Expand on your ideas and provide a more thorough analysis in order to more fully answer the question. A short response cannot fully cover the requirements of the task.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
I heard from my boss that you are planning to spend New Year in different countries. Why do you want to celebrate the New Year without me? Well, the New Year is very important in our country. Everyone in our country waits for New Year, they prepare their homes, streets, and other decorations. I think everyone likes New Year because of the snow, and everyone will be in a good mood.
There is a dispute around the increasing presence of vehicles driven by artificial intelligence on our roads. I cannot support this idea. This technology is still not well-developed enough to be safe in emergency situations, in addition, it can cause depleting demand for drivers and increased levels of unemployment in this area.
There is no denying the fact that many argue that students' attempts to study art as a formal subject are a waste of time and effort. While it is a commonly held belief that paintings and drawings are as equally important as other educational curricula, there is also an argument that opposes it. There are arguments on both sides, however, which I will discuss before I present my opinion.