Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your current response is missing a clear structure and does not address both views or provide a personal opinion as the task asks.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as firstly, however, in addition) to structure your ideas more clearly and improve the flow of your essay.
development
Develop your ideas more fully. Discuss both viewpoints on the use of technology in education versus traditional methods in schools, and support these ideas with specific examples or reasons.
accuracy
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. There are several errors that could confuse the reader or make your argument less clear.
completeness
Expand on your ideas and provide a more thorough analysis in order to more fully answer the question. A short response cannot fully cover the requirements of the task.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
Owing to the necessity of acquiring a foreign language, there is no doubt that ensuring the purpose of learning is vital for personal growth. It is a commonly held belief that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. However, others argue that these reasons are not only limited to these areas. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my own viewpoint.
In contemporary society, while some people believe that excellent leaders are born, others still have the perspective that leadership skills can be enhanced during their lives; in other words, they can improve their abilities through training and experience. This essay will explore my opinion which is provided by my knowledge and experience.
Some argue that the rise in global travel has a detrimental effect on the environment and should be banned. This essay agrees with this statement because it has contributed to a high rate of pollution and traffic congestion.
Homework is concentrated as a common phenomenon, which many schools provide; several people believe that homework should not be given to pupils, however, others think differently; they believe that homework is a vital factor in improving their skills. From my perspective, I believe that homework should be available for students to make them proficient in their lessons; in contrast, it should not put them under pressure as well as prevent them from many activities in their leisure time. This essay attempts to shed light on both perspectives.
In this contemporary epoch, it is commonly observed that action movies like car races are quite popular among youngsters. Skeptics believe that such films lead to the proliferation of accidents on roads. I wholeheartedly agree with this matrimonial and I think such movies should not be promoted in society because they have disruptive effects on the minds of the young generation.