Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your current response is missing a clear structure and does not address both views or provide a personal opinion as the task asks.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as firstly, however, in addition) to structure your ideas more clearly and improve the flow of your essay.
development
Develop your ideas more fully. Discuss both viewpoints on the use of technology in education versus traditional methods in schools, and support these ideas with specific examples or reasons.
accuracy
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. There are several errors that could confuse the reader or make your argument less clear.
completeness
Expand on your ideas and provide a more thorough analysis in order to more fully answer the question. A short response cannot fully cover the requirements of the task.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
It is said by others that advertising is completely successful at convincing the consumer to purchase things. Certain people think that advertising is quite general and that we pay attention not that long. The following opinions and examples of both views will be discussed below.
The question of whether the use of rubber bags, which are widely used across the globe for shopping, ought to be restricted, since it is not eco-friendly has sparked a substantial debate. While many advocate for this, which I firmly agree with, others argue against it. Analyzing these facts that it is non-biodegradable, as well as dangerous to aquatic life, would give a comprehensive overview of this subject matter.
It is widely believed the internet is one of humanity's treasures, with countless benefits and many harmful effects. Personally, I completely agree with the benefits that the internet brings, besides that there are still many harmful effects behind it.
It is widely observed that artists, influencers, and sports professionals become famous and have many fans. Although fame can be highly beneficial for financial well-being and social privilege, it also carries potential risks related to privacy. In my opinion, the advantages of being a celebrity outweigh the disadvantages.