Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your current response is missing a clear structure and does not address both views or provide a personal opinion as the task asks.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as firstly, however, in addition) to structure your ideas more clearly and improve the flow of your essay.
development
Develop your ideas more fully. Discuss both viewpoints on the use of technology in education versus traditional methods in schools, and support these ideas with specific examples or reasons.
accuracy
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. There are several errors that could confuse the reader or make your argument less clear.
completeness
Expand on your ideas and provide a more thorough analysis in order to more fully answer the question. A short response cannot fully cover the requirements of the task.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
Individuals have some responsibilities as citizens to make their country more developed. There are lots of people who believe that they should have that awareness when they were children. I think those features should be learned as soon as possible.
Around the globe, young people are unemployed as well as untrained for anything in life. Additionally, the army is in need of individuals, it is then believed that the youth should have compulsory military service. I firmly do not support this view since the standards of this institution do not always correspond with those of younger generations and the event would probably traumatize them.
It is only fair to say that learning a second language has become one of the most disputed and argued ideas all over the globe with its advantages and disadvantages that affects our life in different aspects. In this essay, I will explore the advantages and disadvantages of an external language. In my concentration, learning a foreign language at Primary School for children has more demerits than its merits.
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to you in regard to an issue associated with my usage of tickets at the train station. I have acquired these tickets for my weekly transportation.
In this era of state-of-the-art art where people live in a global village owing to the advancement of technology numerous students are going to overseas pursue their higher education. I agree that this is a positive development where advantages are surpassed by its disadvantages.