Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your current response is missing a clear structure and does not address both views or provide a personal opinion as the task asks.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as firstly, however, in addition) to structure your ideas more clearly and improve the flow of your essay.
development
Develop your ideas more fully. Discuss both viewpoints on the use of technology in education versus traditional methods in schools, and support these ideas with specific examples or reasons.
accuracy
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. There are several errors that could confuse the reader or make your argument less clear.
completeness
Expand on your ideas and provide a more thorough analysis in order to more fully answer the question. A short response cannot fully cover the requirements of the task.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
I am writing this letter intent to apply for volunteer work as a part-time. Additionally, I am looking forward to this kind of work , so I can get a good experience besides my studies and it’s really fascinating to guide visitors on drawing and folks.
In present-day society, many people are of the opinion that in today's frantic world, cooking food at home is nothing but a complete waste of valuable time. In lieu of this, they find eating out at fast food places more convenient and less burdensome. From my perspective, I completely disagree with the aforementioned statement for several reasons, which are detailed below.
Over recent decades, many people have been trying to develop attitudes towards expenditure. There are some arguments both and against training children in economics. Personally, I agree with the idea that due to the progress is doing all over the world.
People should be aware of the danger of eating unhealthy which leads them to face some health problems. There is, however, an increasing tendency in the rates of obesity and related health issues. Some of the potential reasons and possible solutions to this concern will be discussed in this essay.
It is true that students, when they go to university, often decide to live away from home or in another area. I believe there are two disadvantages and one advantage of living independently.