Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your current response is missing a clear structure and does not address both views or provide a personal opinion as the task asks.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as firstly, however, in addition) to structure your ideas more clearly and improve the flow of your essay.
development
Develop your ideas more fully. Discuss both viewpoints on the use of technology in education versus traditional methods in schools, and support these ideas with specific examples or reasons.
accuracy
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. There are several errors that could confuse the reader or make your argument less clear.
completeness
Expand on your ideas and provide a more thorough analysis in order to more fully answer the question. A short response cannot fully cover the requirements of the task.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
English has become the dominant language for many education programs. In many other countries, where English is used as a second language, proficiency in English is often a prerequisite for many job opportunities. Therefore, many people try to move to English-speaking countries to improve their language skills.
Regarding humans being a part of the earth, people have faced various natural disasters, such as drought, flood, and wildfire. Although they naturally occur, they frequently rage and largely destroy humanity's cities and villages and they become more intimidating than before because of human beings' defilement for the environment.
Nowadays some people believe that the problem regarding the extinction of trees and animals is most distinguished, whereas others contradict that opinion and suggest that the main issues are global warming, air pollution and climate change. In my opinion, environmental problems are the most important.
A considerable amount of nations are implementing mandatory military service for youngsters, regardless of their gender, after they finish school and many think that other countries who have yet to implement the mentioned program need to follow. However, I must disagree with this idea as the need for military force is diverse for each nation and school-graduate youngsters must have a variety of aspirations.
A lot of people do not think about saving the world, despite warning scientists to do this. The primary cause of this phenomenon is people do not think about the future of the planet, and the most viable solution is to educate their children about this issue.