Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your current response is missing a clear structure and does not address both views or provide a personal opinion as the task asks.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as firstly, however, in addition) to structure your ideas more clearly and improve the flow of your essay.
development
Develop your ideas more fully. Discuss both viewpoints on the use of technology in education versus traditional methods in schools, and support these ideas with specific examples or reasons.
accuracy
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. There are several errors that could confuse the reader or make your argument less clear.
completeness
Expand on your ideas and provide a more thorough analysis in order to more fully answer the question. A short response cannot fully cover the requirements of the task.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
With the advancements in medical science, the life span of human beings has increased in many developed nations.Although, long and healthy life of people is considered a symbol of a successful society, some folks consider the elderly population a burden on the country.They may be right to some extent but dying of citizens at a younger age is not at all a positive indicator for any nation state.
The concept of boosting sport and art in school instead of sponsoring their events in society is a controversial tissue, in this essay, I shall elaborate on , as well as I shall reveal my point of view.
In the present age, some groups of people believe that friends should have the same ideas and agree with you, while others say that friends should have differences between them. in my opinion, I agree that friends should disagree sometimes with each other and I am going to describe both two ideas in the next paragraphs.
Mankind lives in society and learns an immense amount of skills by mimicking each other. There is a phenomenon called peer group pressure, which refers to the effects of young individuals' views and what they do to others who are the same age. In this essay, I will explain both the advantages and disadvantages of this and why the benefits of this are stronger than their drawbacks.