IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

There is an argumentative statement heating up a debate whether the state should waive tuition for all students regardless of their socio-economic background. I do not consider myself an advocate of this idea.

There is an argumentative statement heating up a debate
whether
Change preposition
about whether
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 the state should waive
tuition
Use synonyms
 for all students regardless of their socio-economic background. I do not consider myself an advocate of
this
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 idea. The government should not
apply
Add the preposition
apply for
show examples
tuition
Use synonyms
 exemption because it may cause career-related problems. The basic explanation for
this
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 is that people are able to be exposed to education, and everyone
also
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have
Change the verb form
has
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 a Bachelor’s degree holder.
This
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 thing makes competitiveness more intense, which leads to an increase in the rate of unemployment in society. Today,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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leading companies
such
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 as PwC, Deloitte, EY and KPMG recruit employees based on qualifications.
For instance
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,
anyone
Correct word choice
if anyone
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 has the acquisition of a tertiary degree, it is difficult for candidates to show themselves and get the job that they want.
Hence
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, the authority should not cover higher education full
tuition
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 to avoid bringing
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
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 influences on job opportunities.
In addition
Linking Words
, the governor ought to not wholly make
University
Correct article usage
the University
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 free of charge because the government's budget does not allow it to happen. The nation's coffer is limited so making a bunch of investment in the educational system leads to other fields not receiving financial support. The medical care system, building facilities and expanding the entertainment industry can be cited as outstanding instances
for
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of
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 alternative aspects
in
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on
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 which the government has to spare money
on
Change preposition
apply
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the expenditure from schooling had better not be abolished
tuition
Use synonyms
 fee by the government’s fund. In conclusion,the cost
for
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of
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 education should not be suffered completely by the state to not cause
disadvantageous
Add an article
a disadvantageous
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 impact on people's job opportunities.
Furthermore
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, it
also
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 leads to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 shortage of
authority's
Correct article usage
the authority's
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 budget.

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coherence cohesion
It's great that you included both an introduction and a conclusion, clearly signaling the start and finish of your essay. To improve, consider enhancing the link between paragraphs with more transitional phrases, which can guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next.
task achievement
To strengthen your task achievement, make sure to respond to all parts of the prompt fully. You made a strong case against free tuition based on potential career issues and budget constraints. Consider incorporating a paragraph acknowledging the other side of the argument, but explaining why that perspective is outweighed by your arguments. This approach can make your response more balanced and comprehensive.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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