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Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
There are university students who prefer
another subjects
Replace the adjective
another subject
other subjects
show examples
as well as
 their core
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
.
while
 others believe that
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
 on
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
subject
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to our entire goal.
The both
Remove the article
Both
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 approaches, each with its own advantages and disadvantages.
The
Change preposition
In the
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 following essay
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will examine these two ideas and share my perspective. On the one hand, Those who advocate learning
other
Change the wording
another subject
other subjects
show examples
subject
 with their main
subject
 believe that increasing their mental power
as well as
 their ability.
For example
,
There
Fix capitalization
there
show examples
 is a student who
interested
Add a missing verb
is interested
show examples
 in cricket
can
Correct pronoun usage
who can
show examples
 be able to
their
Add a missing verb
do their
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 career. Every student wants to achieve success in their life.
Sometime
Rephrase
Sometimes
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 can be harmful
for choosing
Change preposition
to choose
show examples
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
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 categories. and which can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their future life.
On the other hand
,
Student
Fix the agreement mistake
Students
show examples
 believe that focusing on
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
subject
 might become to own excellent personality. Core
subject
 leads to strong creativity, choice and ideas.
For example
, we do not have general thought to create
entire
Add an article
an entire
show examples
 world,
Beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 our capacity is required.
According to
janzen
Change the capitalization
Janzen
show examples
,
this
 affects the ability to understand and relate in typical ways to people. genetic
subject
 causes our mental sources.
Moreover
,
believed
Wrong verb form
believing
show examples
 in
other
Change the wording
another subject
other subjects
show examples
subject
 can be difficult for our
upcoming
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
future students. In
conclude
Replace the word
conclusion
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,
give
Wrong verb form
giving
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 importance
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 one
subject
 can be beneficial.
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
there
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 can be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
future generations. In my opinion, there are good
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 for
Add a missing verb
being interesting
show examples
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
 in one
subject
 rather than other subjects.
Submitted by hadvaniparth1 on

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coherence cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay clearly, with an introduction, two or more paragraphs discussing each view, and a conclusion summarizing your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using clear linking words (e.g., However, Furthermore) to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
For task achievement, ensure your essay directly addresses and discusses both views presented in the question before stating your own opinion.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points, as this adds depth and clarity to your arguments.
task achievement
Work on presenting clear, comprehensive ideas by developing your arguments further and avoiding vague statements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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