IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

some people believe that nowdays we have too many choice. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #nowdays #choice
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
in
today is
Correct your spelling
today's
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 world, most people think we have too many
choices
. technology and the internet have
creatived
Correct your spelling
created
 many
choices
 for us.
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 agree with
this
 point of view that it has more advantages than disadvantages.
to begin
 with, we have many
choices
 to make the best
choices
 for ourselves.
for example
, when we talk about shopping, there are many things to
choosse
Correct your spelling
choose
 from that allow people to choose what is most satisfactory and suitable for their finances, from design,
price
Correct word choice
and price
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, to what suits their needs my
hobby
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hobbies
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. diversity gives individuals a sense of control, allowing them to make decisions that suit their unique needs.
On the other hand
, if there are too many
choices
 given, you may be confused and make the wrong decision, leading to regret for later
choices
. and
choice
 is not the only factor for success, so it is impossible that you have made the best
choice
 that makes you relax and not try
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it is only a very small part of your success. Friend. In conclusion, whether your
choice
 is positive or negative depends on many factors
such
 as personal preferences, efforts or opinions. But most of all, having more
choices
 is
also
 a great thing. if can Think carefully before making a
choice
 .
Submitted by duongthimyquyen031002 on

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introduction
Clarify your thesis statement in the introduction. Make it clear whether you agree or disagree with the notion of having too many choices.
structure
Improve your essay structure by clearly separating paragraphs and ensuring that each paragraph has one main idea supported by examples.
examples
Use examples more effectively to support your arguments. While you introduced examples, making them more specific and relevant will greatly strengthen your argument.
accuracy
Be cautious with spelling, grammar, and punctuation throughout your essay to enhance readability and professionalism. Consider using tools or seeking feedback on these aspects.
coherence
Enhance coherence by linking ideas more clearly within and between paragraphs. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
cohesion
To improve cohesion, make sure your essay flows logically by ordering your points in a way that builds upon each other and leads to a clear conclusion.
conclusion
Work on developing a more nuanced conclusion that not only summarizes your key points but also reflects on the implications or suggests a solution.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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