You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practise in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. Write a letter to the manager. In the letter: describe what the group does explain why the group is good for the community suggest alternative days and times for practice You should write at least 150 words.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Mr. John, I am writing
this
letter on behalf of
group
Add an article
a group
show examples
of musicians, with
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
to the recent notice that we are no longer allowed to use the community hall. Our music band consists of five members and we are one of the best performing street bands in the
city
.
This
group has been performing in the streets for the past two years and we donate the money that we earn to the charity hospital which is situated next to the community hall.
This
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
is one of the most visited
place
Change to a plural noun
places
show examples
in the
city
and a plethora of people just come to
this
place to watch our band perform.
Consequently
,
this
will lead to a good economic boost to the
city
council and they can use
this
money to improve the infrastructure in the
city
. As a group, we feel that
this
community hall is a very good place for us to practice and we are
also
ready to change the timings of our sessions to the weekends or switch the practice sessions to mornings on Tuesday and Friday. I hope you understand our concern and we are looking forward to hearing a positive response. Yours Faithfully, Brian
Submitted by raghavender1197 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure that your letter fully addresses all parts of the task. While you've described the group and suggested alternative days, expanding on why the group is good for the community could strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout your letter, using paragraphs to separate different ideas. Consider adding a final paragraph summarizing your request or expressing hope for a positive outcome, to enhance cohesion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively. These can include conjunctions, pronouns, and transitional phrases. This will help your writing flow better and appear more organized.
Task Achievement
Revise the greeting and closing to ensure they are appropriately formal. While your letter generally maintains a suitable tone, slight adjustments to the politeness level in your closing could further improve its appropriateness.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: