IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The importance of
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased through time owing to a group of vulnerable populations that requires support, nowadays many nonprofit organizations have been founded.
For
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this
Linking Words
 reason, the system of education has shown how relevant learning
community
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 services since adolescence are in
schools
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.
However
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,
community
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service
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 as a mandatory labor during
high-
Correct your spelling
high school
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schools
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 could represent some drawbacks and benefits. First of all, it is well-known that everybody should support those that are in vulnerable situations or
conditions
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, as a means of being empathetic and it should be done from the heart.
However
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, until now many people have lived in privileged
conditions
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 and are unable to realize many other realities.
As a consequence
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, many
schools
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 pretend to show the real
conditions
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 of those
in
Change preposition
at
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 risk and how to support the in-danger population by having
community
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service
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 as a mandatory requirement of graduation.
Then
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, the principal aim of doing these activities has been to emphasize
in
Change preposition
apply
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empathetic and basic values.
Nevertheless
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, having it as a compulsory condition could represent a simple task to complete in high-school adolescents.
As a result
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 of
this
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,
the
Correct word choice
if the
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 main objective is not achieved,
then
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 adverse or unfavourable
conditions
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 that
schools
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 want to be taught of the importance of assisting each other are not learned by students.
For example
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, some pupils could not complete the tasks or in some cases
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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attitudes and behaviors by performing these are impolite. To summarize,
community
Use synonyms
service
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 has been widely recognized, nowadays having many nonprofit corporations.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the importance of supporting each other has been taught since childhood,
so
Correct word choice
and so
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 far in many
schools
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 it is a mandatory practice which I agree with.
However
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, it is appropriate to explain and emphasize the leading targets that have to complete
this
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labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
.

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task achievement
Clarify your stance more clearly in the introduction. Readers should understand your position on the issue immediately.
task achievement
Support your arguments with more specific examples. This will help illustrate your points more vividly and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each one discussing a separate point. This helps with readability and ensures your arguments are easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use transitional phrases to better link your ideas and paragraphs. This will improve the flow of your essay and make your arguments more coherent.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
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