Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work
Historically,
art
has been widely recognized owing to its favourable impact among societies and its advancements have had an exponential growth. Nevertheless
, it is well-known that in many countries artists
have not received fair stipends. For
this
reason, they should receive financial aid from not only non-profit organizations but also
the government. I partially agree with this
because instead
of obtaining subsidies, the government should guarantee better wages in this
profession.
Firstly
, there have been created many ways to illustrate or perform art
, such
as theatre, sculpture, painting, etc. Then
, students of art
and people who already work as artists
should spend money by buying the respective materials that are required to carry out its
performance. Correct pronoun usage
their
Therefore
, wages are not enough neither for basic daily requirements nor
for purchasing items. Correct word choice
or
As a consequence
, many non-profit organizations have helped and supplied these conditions
, and in many cases, artists
must apply for scholarships or governmental financial contributions is vital in order to reach their goals.
However
, if in
many other employments and professions are provided mandatory types of equipment to complete the tasks, in the artistic field Change preposition
apply
also
should be done. For example
, in Colombia, most of the artists
must obtain financial sponsors, mainly those who perform scenic arts due to
the necessity of having the standard conditions
to develop the labour. Hence
, it has been shown how people who have decide
to follow their artistic career have to face many difficult situations.
Change the form of the verb
decided
To sum up
, art
is a field that has generated a positive impact worldwide. However
, some conditions
for performing this
kind of work are not widely guaranteed. As a result
, artists
should be in constant effort to obtain financial support from the government. Nevertheless
, it is really necessary to establish new policies and rules in order to grant better conditions
for working among community
of Add an article
a community
artists
.Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on
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task response
Be sure to address all parts of the question within your essay. Your partial agreement was mentioned but exploring both sides more evenly could strengthen your position.
coherence and cohesion
A more varied use of cohesive devices could improve the flow and clarity of your writing. Consider integrating phrases that explicitly signal contrasts, additions or conclusions.
task response
To provide a well-rounded argument, include specific and varied examples to support each of your points. These can come from real-world scenarios, hypothetical situations, or widely recognized facts.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?