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Writing Samples
Band 4

Look at the below picture and describe the life cycle of a butterfly. You should write the following: - Briefly about the butterfly (insect family) - Describe the different stages (eggs, caterpillar, pupa and butterfly)

#picture #life #cycle #insect #stages #eggs #caterpillar #pupa
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Butterfly
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
Change the article
apply
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one of the forms of insect. Butterflies are colourful and they are very important for the ecological system. Like every living thing, Butterflies
also
 have a
life
cycle
. There are 4 stages in the
life
cycle
 of a butterfly namely
eggs
, Larva, Pupa and Butterfly.
Firstly
, Butterflies use a specific plant to lay their
eggs
 and they lay many
eggs
 at a time which can be different in shape and size depending on the species. The
eggs
 are usually hatched in less than a week. After the
eggs
 have been hatched, tiny caterpillars start coming out and they feed on leaves, flowers and fruits. As they eat, their bodies grow and their shapes change. The third
stage
 is the Pupa. At
this
stage
, the Caterpillar develops its wings, legs, eyes and other organs. The final
stage
 is
adult
Correct article usage
the adult
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stage
, the butterfly is fully developed and they begin to look for food, look for
mate
Add an article
a mate
show examples
 and begin the
life
cycle
 again. The average
life
 span is 2 weeks but may vary depending on the species. Each
stage
 looks different but they serve an important purpose in the
life
cycle
 of a Butterfly.
Butterfly
Fix the agreement mistake
Butterflies
show examples
 pollinate plants in our gardens.
Hence
, they play a major role in our ecosystem and we need to protect them.
Submitted by roshnijuneja19182 on

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction briefly outlines what you are going to discuss. You did this well, but there's always room for improvement in providing a clearer overview.
task achievement
Develop your main points more fully by expanding on how each stage of the butterfly's lifecycle contributes to the ecosystem, possibly by incorporating more specific examples or data.
coherence cohesion
Connect your ideas more cohesively. Although the essay has a clear progression, using transitional phrases such as 'Following this...' or 'Subsequently...' could enhance the flow between stages.
coherence cohesion
To strengthen your conclusion, consider summarizing the key points briefly and emphasizing the significance of butterflies to the ecosystem again. This reinforces the importance of your topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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