Children should always follow their parents’ advice. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In contemporary times, there is a growing debate surrounding the extent to which
children
should adhere to their parents'
Correct your spelling
parent's
advice
. While
some advocate for unwavering obedience, others argue for the importance of granting children
the freedom to express their opinions. In my view, a balanced approach is necessary, where children
follow their parents
' advice
while
also
being encouraged to engage in discussions.
Firstly
, it's evident that in recent decades, some parents
have been inclined towards imposing strict rules without allowing room for discussion or expression of ideas from their children
. Consequently
, children
may find it challenging to voice their opinions or develop independent thinking skills. In families with a conservative upbringing, children
are often expected to comply unquestioningly with parental directives. However
, this
approach can sometimes lead to resistance or defiance from children
who feel unheard or misunderstood. Therefore
, fostering open communication and dialogue between parents
and children
is crucial to bridge the gap in understanding. When children
have the opportunity to express their thoughts and concerns, it promotes mutual respect and strengthens the parent-child relationship.
On the other hand
, it's important for children
to recognize the value of parental advice
and wisdom gained from life experience. Parents
often have a deeper understanding of the consequences and benefits associated with certain decisions, which can guide children
towards making informed choices. By following their parents
' advice
, children
demonstrate respect and appreciation for their guidance. For instance
, when parents
recommend that children
take a nap after school for their well-being, it's essential for children
to understand the rationale behind the advice
and comply accordingly
.
In conclusion, striking a balance between obedience and autonomy is essential in parent-child relationships. While
parents
should provide guidance and set boundaries, they should also
encourage open communication and active participation from their children
. By fostering a collaborative approach, where parents
and children
engage in meaningful discussions and mutual respect, it
cultivates a nurturing environment conducive to personal growth and development. Ultimately, when both parties Correct pronoun usage
apply
fulfill
their respective roles responsibly, it paves the way for harmonious family dynamics and sets the stage for success in life.Change the spelling
fulfil
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Task Achievement
To improve your task achievement, ensure your essay answers all parts of the question fully. You have discussed the importance of balance, but including more clear examples and elaborating on each viewpoint would strengthen your argument. Aim to offer a fuller exploration of each side to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Coherence
Enhance your essay's coherence by better organizing your ideas into more clearly defined paragraphs. Each paragraph should discuss a specific point related to the overall topic. Try to establish a more evident connection between paragraphs for smoother transitions.
Cohesion
To build cohesion, employ a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., consequently, therefore, for instance). You've made a good start, but using them more effectively throughout your essay can help link ideas more smoothly and clarify relationships between points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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