A folktale from your homeland or culture. This could be a narrative from your religion, a well-known play, a collection of short stories, etc. Consider: What characters are there? What significant events occurred? What do you like or dislike about it? Always outline your work, punctuate it correctly, use paragraphs, and include an introduction and conclusion.

#folktale #homeland #culture #narrative #religion #collection #stories #characters #events #dislike #outline #work #punctuate #paragraphs #introduction #conclusion

The

Eid

celebration

is one of the greatest cultural

event

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events

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in Mauritius. It is celebrated with great enthusiasm by the Mauritian Muslims after a month of fasting.

Although

this

event is celebrated

world wide

Correct your spelling

worldwide

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, the way it is marked in Mauritius is very interesting and peculiar in nature. It

Unnecessary verb

apply

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originated from Mecca, the great city of Saudi Arabia and is celebrated to commemorate the end of the holy month of Ramadan in which Muslims fast daily from dawn to sunset. It is commemorated with a community-wide prayer service in the morning followed by meals and conversation with family and

friend

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friends

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. It is a time

for

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great joy and blessing for the Muslim community and

also

a great opportunity to distribute wealth and make charity to poor people. It is a time when

family

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families

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come together and rejoice

good

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with good

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food and drink. On that special day, we are all dressed up in new clothes and there is

also

exchange

Correct article usage

an exchange

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of gifts. On that day, I would wake up early and take a bath before attending the morning

Eid

prayer. I would put on my new clothes and put

some

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on some

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good perfumes known as the "Attar". After performing the morning prayer at the mosque, I would meet all the people in the mosque and wish them a happy

Eid

celebration

Furthermore

, I would return home and wish my family including the neighbours. My mom would be busy cooking special food on

this

occasion. Sometimes, we are visited by our families and there

are

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exchange

Add an article

the exchange

an exchange

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of gifts and we

also

provide them with

the

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special food called "Meethi Sewai".

This

celebration

comes once

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apply

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a year.

Although

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we may feel sad when

this

special day comes to an end, we are eager to see the next

Eid

celebration

Submitted by roshnijuneja19182 on Sun Mar 24 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve Task Achievement, ensure you fully address all aspects of the prompt. Your essay discusses the Eid celebration in Mauritius well but lacks the narrative depth of a folktale or cultural story, as requested. Consider incorporating a specific, traditional story related to Eid in your essay. This will make your response more complete and aligned with the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance Coherence and Cohesion, your essay is well-structured and logical, but could benefit from a clearer introduction that previews the main points and a more conclusive conclusion. Try to use the introduction to set the scene for your folktale or cultural narrative, and conclude with a reflection on its significance or a lesson it teaches.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make use of more varied and complex sentence structures to improve the flow and readability of your writing. Linking words and phrases can help to better connect your ideas and ensure a smoother progression from one point to the next.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Include an introduction and conclusion

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

Some people believe that volunteer work should be a requirement for teenagers in high schools (for instance working for a charity). To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.