It has become easier and more affordable for people to travel to other countries. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Int
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
his
Change the word
the
show examples
modern day, more and more
people
could
travel
to other nations as the price of it is getting more reasonable. The writer of
this
essay believes that it is a positive development owing to the variety of cultural
exposion
Correct your spelling
explosion
and the expansion of multinational companies. The most convincing rationale for
this
effect is that
people
could get exposed more to different cultures.
In other words
, there are hundreds of countries all over the world, which have been going through several ups and downs of history to shape their own cultures.
Consequently
, none of them have similar customs
nor
Correct word choice
or
show examples
cuisines, making each
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
distinctive and unique in many aspects.
Therefore
, when individuals
travel
to other nations, they would not only have the once-in-life experience but
also
acquire more knowledge about other cultures.
Furthermore
, the ease of travelling abroad facilitates the rapid growth of international enterprises. Simply put, the core value of a multinational
cooperation
Correct your spelling
corporation
show examples
is to promote
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
products worldwide in order to gain more profits. With that in mind, if they can choose the particular potential markets for trading, they will probably have to
travel
between those countries multiple times to maintain the stable operation of that transnational corporation.
Thus
, the easier foreign
travel
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
, the more opportunities multinational companies have to increase their size in the economic field. In conclusion,
due to
the cultural experience and the tensive development of international corporations, it must be a positive trend when
people
couls
Correct your spelling
could
travel
abroad in
such
an easy way.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents your viewpoint on the topic and preview the main points you will discuss. Although your introduction mentions the stance, a clearer preview could enhance clarity.
task achievement
Consider offering more specific examples to support your points. While you've made general statements about cultural exposure and multinational companies, incorporating real-life examples or statistics would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Maintain consistent verb tenses throughout your essay. There were instances of tense inconsistencies that could confuse readers or detract from the overall clarity of your message.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to your spelling and grammar. Minor errors, such as 'couls' instead of 'could', can slightly impact the professionalism of your writing. Proofreading is key.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to create a more engaging and dynamic essay. While your sentences are generally well-structured, incorporating a variety of complex and compound sentences can make your writing more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advancements in transportation
  • Cultural curiosity
  • Economic reasons
  • Globalization
  • Educational opportunities
  • Digital nomadism
  • Healthcare tourism
  • Tourism industry growth
  • Personal development
  • Interconnectedness
  • Higher living standards
  • Remote work
  • Broaden their horizons
  • Affordable travel
  • Medical treatments
  • Global perspective
  • Air travel options
  • Cuisines
  • Lifestyles
  • Job opportunities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: