An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries. What problems does it cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?
A
number of individuals who are very qualified and experienced at their Change the article
The
job
is increasing around the world and they prefer leaving their own Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
countries
to work in rich countries
. Unfortunately, this
causes a lot of problems such
as reducing
Replace the word
a reduction
of
Change preposition
in
workforce
and increasing Add an article
the workforce
of
property among people of unwealthy Change preposition
in
countries
. To solve this
issue, the governments should create better opportunities to work
for knowledgeable residents and increase the quantity of facilities Verb problem
apply
such
as schools and hospitals.
The main problem is that if many dwellers migrate other
places to achieve better standards of Change preposition
to other
life
, older people cannot labor
by themselves and face some difficulties Change the spelling
labour
to manage
Change preposition
in managing
the
Change the word
their
life
. To explain, available people must make money for their family
. Fix the agreement mistake
families
However
, they choose to leave there and begin new
Add an article
a new
life
. As a result
, those countries
lose choices to develop and move toward deep failure. For example
, the population of Uzbekistan is moving to developed countries
like the USA to reach better goals.
To tackle this
issue, each country which is poor have to try to maintain their
daily routine. Correct pronoun usage
its
Firstly
, they must create the best opportunities to live smoothly such
as reducing taxes. Additionally
, they must construct up-to-date facilities to attract more experienced employees. If they do these, they can achieve the goal because anybody cannot give up such
a brilliant choice. Consequently
, even they can instill
Change the spelling
instil
reputation
among rich Correct article usage
a reputation
countries
. For instance
, developing technologies can lead great
Correct article usage
a great
life
through
teaching children Change preposition
by
with
unique methods.
In conclusion, individuals who are lived pooper nations are leaving their Change preposition
apply
hometown
to earn more money in another place. Fix the agreement mistake
hometowns
Although
it causes problems like decreasing
Replace the word
a decrease
of
Change preposition
in
workforce
, Add an article
the workforce
this
can be solved through improved facilities.Submitted by soglomovsarvar on
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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, it's crucial to fully address all parts of the prompt. Your essay discusses problems and solutions but lacks depth in both aspects. Consider dedicating more space to analyzing specific examples and detailed explanations of each problem and solution. Expanding on these areas with more elaborate examples and a clearer connection to the question will make your response more complete.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, focus on linking your ideas more effectively. While your essay has an overall structure, transitions between ideas can be smoother. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to show connections between your paragraphs and sentences. Additionally, pay attention to paragraph structure; each paragraph should focus on one main idea, supported by examples or explanations. A clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph can help improve the logical flow of your essay.
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