In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasis that their products are new in some way Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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Although
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there are always basic standards to measure how good a product is, businesses nowadays heavily stress the more innovative
aspects
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of their
products
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.
While
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this
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phenomenon can be explained by a fear of competition from similar
products
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, I strongly believe that
this
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poses
serious
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a serious
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threats
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threat
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for
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to
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our society. By focusing on advertising new
aspects
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of
products
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, the companies hope to limit the number of benchmarks of other
products
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of the same type. Without anything to compare to, customers have low awareness about the actual values that the novel
aspects
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bring,
therefore
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they may willing to pay even if the characteristics are not worth the prices.
For example
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, a new coffee house in my
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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ran ads on our local radios and newspapers for their very
expesive
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expensive
, exclusive drink and all of the information in these ads
is
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was
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about the pink
color
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colour
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of the beverage. Because the community had never tasted
such
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drink
Correct article usage
a drink
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before, they had no idea whether it would
worth
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be worth
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the high
pricetag
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price tag
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. Emphasizing too much on these novel
characteristic
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characteristics
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result
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results
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in the neglect of the
basic
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basics
show examples
of a product. Because everything
need
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needs
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to have something new,
research
Correct article usage
the research
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and development department of a company will use all of
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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resources for add-ons and innovations,
instead
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of improving
much needed
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much-needed
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other standards,
such
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as quality, reliability or affordability. Selling highly innovative gadgets that break down easily can bring in new
customer
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customers
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in the short term, but
losing
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lose
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them in the long run.
To conclude
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, companies are obsessing with generating and advertising new
aspects
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of their product,
while
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neglecting other more needed, basic
standard
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standards
show examples
. In my opinion,
this
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trend will cause more harm than good in the future.
Submitted by hoagloc on

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Task Response
For a clearer task response, ensure you address both aspects of the prompt effectively. While you've discussed why newness in products is emphasized and given your opinion on whether it's positive or negative, expanding on specific examples to support your points could elevate the answer. Try using more varied and detailed examples from real-life situations or hypothetical scenarios to illustrate your points more vividly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Transition words and phrases can help guide the reader through your argument more seamlessly. Incorporate phrases like 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' or 'Contrastingly,' where appropriate, to connect ideas more effectively.
Task Response
While you've introduced main points to support your argument, further elaboration and solid examples would strengthen your essay. Each main point could be enhanced by deeper analysis and more concrete evidence. When stating an argument, follow it up with a specific example or statistic, then analyze how this supports your overall point. This will make your arguments more convincing.
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