There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Because the youth is often stressed in
today
very competitive Change noun form
today's
school
, many argue that objects which are deemed non-academic Fix the agreement mistake
schools
such
as cookery or physical education should be excluded from study programs. However
, I strongly disagree with this
opinion,
and believe that Remove the comma
apply
children
should always take these courses as they will improve the kid's health to support other more academic subjects,
and that a lot of students actually enjoy non-academic subjects
Remove the comma
apply
Firstly
, taking part in physical education or cooking class
improves Fix the agreement mistake
classes
children
health to focus in school. Many studies have shown that Change noun form
children's
exercies
, especially those with high intensity that Correct your spelling
exercise
exercises
happened
outside, are extremely important for the healthy development of the nervous system. Wrong verb form
happen
Furthermore
, knowledge about what foods that
should or should not be eaten Correct pronoun usage
apply
are
often taught in cooking classes, which will certainly support the pupil's health. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
As a result
, without these extra-curriculum
classes, students are more prone to sickness and Correct your spelling
extracurricular
thus
the
grades in mathematics, literature or physics will be negatively affected.
Change the word
their
Secondly
, not all of the children
want or should go to universities for degrees as this
is not what they desire. A student may want to take a football class more than a mathematic
course because he dreams of Replace the word
mathematics
become
a football player. In Change the verb form
becoming
this
case, forcing the children
to drop non-academic activity
so that they may have a better chance Fix the agreement mistake
activities
to get
into universities will reduce their motivation Change preposition
of getting
in
study. Change preposition
to
Besides
, numerous research have
shown that students achieve Change the verb form
has
best
Add an article
the best
result
when they are in Fix the agreement mistake
results
the
state of flow, Correct article usage
a
in other words
, when they are doing what they like best. By letting the children
try their best in these non-academic courses, they actually have higher
chance of being Add an article
a higher
success
in life.
In conclusion, Replace the word
successful
although
most parents would like their children
to be success
academically, removing non-academic courses Replace the word
successful
out of
the curriculum is a grave mistake. I firmly believe that we should let Change preposition
from
children
do these activities at school,
because the kids will be both healthier and more successful.Remove the comma
apply
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
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