There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Because the youth is often stressed in
today
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today's
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very competitive
school
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schools
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, many argue that objects which are deemed non-academic
such
as cookery or physical education should be excluded from study programs.
However
, I strongly disagree with
this
opinion
,
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apply
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and believe that
children
should always take these courses as they will improve the kid's health to support other more academic subjects
,
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apply
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and that a lot of students actually enjoy non-academic subjects
Firstly
, taking part in physical education or cooking
class
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classes
show examples
improves
children
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children's
show examples
health to focus in school. Many studies have shown that
exercies
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exercise
exercises
, especially those with high intensity that
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
outside, are extremely important for the healthy development of the nervous system.
Furthermore
, knowledge about what foods
that
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apply
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should or should not be eaten
are
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is
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often taught in cooking classes, which will certainly support the pupil's health.
As a result
, without these
extra-curriculum
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extracurricular
show examples
classes, students are more prone to sickness and
thus
the
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their
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grades in mathematics, literature or physics will be negatively affected.
Secondly
, not all of the
children
want or should go to universities for degrees as
this
is not what they desire. A student may want to take a football class more than a
mathematic
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mathematics
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course because he dreams of
become
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becoming
show examples
a football player. In
this
case, forcing the
children
to drop non-academic
activity
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activities
show examples
so that they may have a better chance
to get
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of getting
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into universities will reduce their motivation
in
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to
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study.
Besides
, numerous research
have
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has
show examples
shown that students achieve
best
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the best
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result
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results
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when they are in
the
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a
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state of flow,
in other words
, when they are doing what they like best. By letting the
children
try their best in these non-academic courses, they actually have
higher
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a higher
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chance of being
success
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successful
show examples
in life. In conclusion,
although
most parents would like their
children
to be
success
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successful
show examples
academically, removing non-academic courses
out of
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from
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the curriculum is a grave mistake. I firmly believe that we should let
children
do these activities at school
,
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apply
show examples
because the kids will be both healthier and more successful.
Submitted by hoagloc on

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task achievement
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task achievement
Work on developing your ideas more comprehensively. Your body paragraphs should explain your main points in greater depth, using specific examples to illustrate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear and succinct. The introduction should set up your argument, and the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
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