Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A stick of
people
stick to the same organization till their retirement, whilst, others prefer to move around in different types of workplaces throughout their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. And I’m more inclined with the latter option.
This
essay
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
outline both arguments and explain the reasons for my opinion. On the one hand, working for one company or workplace
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
its own benefits. Staying in the same organization for a long time of period could make you a trustworthy employee, which can lead to promotion later on. Another reason for
this
is employee’s various working life.
For example
, some
people
give special time to their family and can not work at weekends. And if an employer agrees to that, they will not think about moving to another place.
Moreover
, it’s not easy to change the working environment for most
people
, especially introvert types. They prefer to stay in one stable and risk-free place for their profession.
On the other hand
, some folks agree
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
switching the working environment is way better than sticking to the same office for the rest of their career.
Additionally
,
people
’s interest in various things may
also
make them look for other organizations. If a person learns or develops a new habit, they are more likely to find a place to work in that special subject.
For instance
, my uncle ,who used to be a math teacher, learned coding for about 5 years
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
changed his career to
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
a programmer.
To sum up
, a set of
people
do not like to change their offices,
while
, others are willing to transfer to another if required. But
I’m
Verb problem
I agree
show examples
more agreed to the latter option because of
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
I explained above.
Submitted by fatema14mohammed on

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task response
To improve task response, ensure that you fully develop your arguments for each viewpoint before presenting your own opinion. While your opinion is clear, expanding on the reasoning behind it with more detailed examples could make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by improving transition phrases between paragraphs and ideas. Your essay would benefit from smoother transitions that logically connect one paragraph to the next, making your argumentation feel more cohesive.
coherence and cohesion
Consider proofreading your essay for grammatical errors and unclear sentences. Addressing these issues will make your essay easier to read and understand, which is crucial for scoring higher in coherence and cohesion.
task response
Providing specific, real-life examples to support your main points can make your arguments more convincing. This not only strengthens your task response but also adds depth to your essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • seniority
  • job satisfaction
  • rapidly changing job market
  • adapt to
  • work culture
  • career progression
  • network
  • diversity of experience
  • adaptability
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic nature
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