Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?
The
number
of individuals in many species is critically low, while
other species are disapearing
so fast that they are on their way to extinction. The reason is that wild Correct your spelling
disappearing
animals
are being overly hunted for food and their other products. This
calls for government's
enforcement of Correct article usage
the government's
policy
to prohibit Add an article
the policy
such
activities.
Many animals
are captured for their meat or their other products, such
as ivories, fur or hair. Due to
the recent increase in economic development in Eastern countries such
as China or Vietnam and as people in these countries believe that eating exotic animal meat or using products made from animal's
ivories, hair or fur will bring great fortunes, the demand for these Change noun form
animal
animals
skyrockets. This
need causes poachers to increase their hunting activities, and a lot of elephants, tigers or
rhinoceros Correct word choice
and
has
been killed. In brief, these poor Correct subject-verb agreement
have
animals
have been hunted cruelly because of human selfish, insatiable desires.
Therefore
, one of the most effective solutions are
prohibitive actions from the government regarding poaching. There must be an increase in Change the verb form
is
number
of rangers, enforcers and laws to restrict poachers from killing wild Change the article
a number
the number
animals
. There are studies shown
that in Vietnamese provinces where the law enforcers actively captured and punished poachers hunting elephants, the Add a missing verb
have shown
number
of wild elephant
increased Change to a plural noun
elephants
more
than 50 Change preposition
by more
percent
that Change the spelling
per cent
that in
provinces where no actions are made Change preposition
to
from
the policymakers to reduce hunting. It is crystal clear that actions from the government are necessary to prevent the culling of wild Change preposition
by
animals
.
In summary, many animals
are on the brink of extinction due to
being hunted which call
into action the enforcement of Correct subject-verb agreement
calls
goverments
. Only when Correct your spelling
governments
government
number
of hunting activities significantly Change the article
a number
the number
drop
, wildlife can flourish again.Correct subject-verb agreement
drops
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. You've incorporated examples effectively, but consider diversifying your sources of information for a more robust argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.