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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows how many proportion of people in different 5 cities who made drinking or buying coffee habits in Australia

The chart shows how many proportion of people in different 5 cities who made drinking or buying coffee habits in Australia
#proportion #people #cities #coffee #habits #australia
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The chart gives information about how many proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 in different 5 cities who made drinking or buying
coffee
Use synonyms
 habits in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 going to
Use synonyms
cafe
Add an article
a cafe
show examples
 to buy
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea had a
dominance
Replace the word
dominant
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
proportion in all cities, with
exception
Correct article usage
the exception
show examples
 of Adelaide, the fewest
people
Use synonyms
 preferred to buy fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in each city.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the difference between the biggest and the smallest figures was significant. Looking at the details, in Melbourne and Hobart, the figure for attending
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
 for drinks( tea,
coffee
Use synonyms
) stood
first,
Linking Words
with the same percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 making. In the
mean time
Correct your spelling
meantime
show examples
, almost 50% and 55% of
people
Use synonyms
 in
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 cities have said about preference
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 respectively. As for
People
Use synonyms
 who live in Sydney and Brisbane, most of them have gone to
Use synonyms
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
, with nearly 60% and 65%. The former trend had a similar percentage in the rest of
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the rest of drinking habitats. The opposite was true for the latter. It is
also
Linking Words
 considerable that the trend of instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 was
first,
Linking Words
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
surpassing the figure of travelling to
Use synonyms
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
unlike
Add the comma(s)
, unlike
show examples
 others. But buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been chosen by fewer
people
Use synonyms
 in the same way.
Submitted by amuhammedov665 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "first, ".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 92%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, coffee, cafe with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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