It is important for people to take risks, both in professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Taking
risk
plays a crucial role in individuals` not only jobs but Fix the agreement mistake
risks
also
lives. Some people
think that people
cannot reach their goals without risks
but, from my perspective, this
lead
to Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
go
bankrupt.
On the one hand, some groups of individuals believe that taking Wrong verb form
going
risks
can help for
Change preposition
apply
people
to be successful because, they always watch
some well-known Wrong verb form
watched
people
took
Wrong verb form
take
risks
when they were a child to achieve their goal
, and Fix the agreement mistake
goals
this
is an example for
Change preposition
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
who believe risks
always bring us a bright future. In addition
, our modern jobs require taking risks
in our lives, and people
are always between two ways also
, we always have to choose one of them because,
at that time we cannot predict what will happen in the future.
Remove the comma
apply
On the other hand
, from my standpoint, after take
Change the verb form
taking
risks
, our businesses may go bankrupt such
as a human know
nothing about launching Wrong verb form
knowing
business
, and he or she Add an article
a business
the business
want
to run a Change the verb form
wants
business
without any advices
Correct your spelling
advice
of
other Change preposition
from
people`s
who Change noun form
people
are
launching Wrong verb form
have been
business
for a long time. If the individual would launch Add an article
a business
business
the percentage of failing is too high compared to Add an article
a business
achieve
. Wrong verb form
achieving
Secondly
, after a person take
a risk, the human would think a lot of time about what may happen in the future Change the verb form
takes
as a result
this
would lead to some heart or nervous diseases because of thinking a lot.
In conclusion, in my opinion, taking risks
may carry some advantages in some peoples` lives however
, it would lead to some diseases or bankrupt
of our Replace the word
bankruptcy
business
without any experience.Submitted by Azizbek on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure your arguments are well-structured and each paragraph has a clear main idea. Start with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs, each focusing on one aspect of the topic, and then conclude.
coherence cohesion
For a higher score in coherence, use linking words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This improves the flow of your essay and makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Your essay should address the task directly, ensuring you answer the question thoroughly. Consider both sides of the argument, provide clear examples to support your views, and conclude by summarizing your stance.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. Specific examples make your argument stronger and more convincing. They also show that you understand the topic deeply.
task achievement
Work on the clarity and complexity of your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph introduces a single, comprehensive idea related to the topic. This will make your essay more compelling and easier to understand.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.