IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Water pollution has been an increasing problem over the last few decades. What are the causes and effects of water pollution?

#water #pollution #decades #effects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In our contemporary society,
water
 pollution has
became
Change the form of the verb
become
show examples
 a worldwide problem with profound consequences.
This
 essay will delve into the underlying causes of
water
 contamination and its impacts on people and other living creatures. One of the primary reasons for
this
 issue is poor
water
 purification equipment.
Due to
this
 fact in most countries contaminated
water
 runs into oceans or seas without being properly cleaned .
Additionally
, some countries produce oil and export it . During extracting and exporting processes, oil spills from tankers or drillers and covers large scales of
water
 surface .
As a result
 of it
water
 poisoning occurs. Another factor that causes
water
 pollution is agriculture. When it rains agricultural substances
such
 as fertilisers and pesticides get washed from the soil by rain and flow into
water
 bodies.
This
 problem has a myriad of adverse outcomes. Contaminated
water
 has profound effects on marine life as it decreases the number of animals and fish, and destroys flora existing near the polluted area.
Furthermore
, agricultural pollutants
also
 run into the drinking
water
 sources and the use of
this
water
 can cause serious health problems because of the chemicals and toxins existing in
this
water
. In conclusion, there are several causes of
water
 pollution which have detrimental effects that extend beyond illnesses to loss of habitat and plants . In order to decrease the level of
water
 contamination governments need to invest in
water
-cleaning equipment and develop it.
Also
, reasonable measures should be taken by the authority
Submitted by writingbhos on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve task response, ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the question more completely. While you've discussed the causes and effects of water pollution, integrating more detailed, specific examples and data to support your points could enrich your response. This will help demonstrate a thorough understanding and increase the completeness of your response.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to more effectively connect your ideas. Additionally, organising your paragraphs more logically will help the reader follow your arguments more easily. A possible structure could include dedicating one paragraph to causes and one to effects, ensuring each has a clear topic sentence and is followed by examples and explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: