Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which cause many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to enourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #enourage #people

In today’s

food

industry, it is commonly found that a vast number of

food

and drink

products

contain high levels of

sugar

which lead to numerous young generations suffering from diabetes and obesity. There is a proposal that suggests that we need to increase the product’s price in order to decrease its sales.

Nevertheless

this

strategy does not fully support the goal.

Therefore

, several more actions need to be taken to address

this

health issue in society. Consuming sugary

products

is detrimental

due to

its harmful effects on our various body parts

such

as the brain and heart.

In addition

to that,

sugar

potentially increases the risk of depression and anxiety. From my point of view, irrespective of its rising cost,

people

won’t stop consuming it as it has become their habit and lifestyle. What is considered to be more effective is educating

people

about the potential health risks that are associated with higher intake of

sugar

Furthermore

, the government should intervene to ban certain levels of

sugar

like what is currently applied in some particular countries.

Moreover

food

scientists should aspire to invent risk-free alternatives to

sugar

and start utilising it in their upcoming

products

Therefore

people

could enjoy sweetness through

this

brand-new replacement without sacrificing their health. Ultimately,

sugar

is destructive mentally and physically.

However

, a growing cost of

sugar

would not prevent

people

from eating

sugar

hence

, the role of government is required here in order to limit the consumption of sugary

products

Additionally

food

scientists should

also

establish sweet yet healthier foods and beverages.

Submitted by syarahfatiha321 on Sun Mar 24 2024

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task achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt by taking a clear stance on the issue presented. While your essay discusses the consequences of high sugar consumption and suggests alternative actions, it initially seems uncertain about the effectiveness of the proposed measure (making sugary products more expensive). Be explicit in your agreement or disagreement, and support your position with stronger arguments and more relevant examples.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, try to improve the logical flow of your essay by connecting your ideas more smoothly. Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, however, in addition) to link your paragraphs and sentences effectively. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by examples or further explanation. Consider the overall structure of your essay and ensure it is easy for the reader to follow your argument.

task achievement

To enhance the impact of your examples and arguments, integrate specific, real-world examples that directly support your viewpoint. This could be through citing studies, real-life implementations of certain policies, or statistics. Such specific references will strengthen your argument and make your response more compelling.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which cause many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to enourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific world, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to help employees perform better in their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the government should spend more money in putting in more works of art like painting and statutes in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

task 2: Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks and motorcycles are banned from the city center. People are encouraged to use public transportation such as buses, taxis and metro on vehicle-free days. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?