Nowadays, most companies improve their living standards through economic development. However , some social values are lost as a result. Do you think that the advantages of the phenomenon out weigh the disadvantages?

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In the
last
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decade years, more and more countries
were
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
improving their economic
stuations
Correct your spelling
situations
situation
.
Therefore
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, locals can live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
high
quality
Use synonyms
lifestyle
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
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, some
people
Use synonyms
think that the
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
of living
standards
Use synonyms
by economic policy
caused to
Verb problem
has
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upset
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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some social values .
However
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, there are many advantages of living
standards
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through economic development. I believe that the advantages of developing
Use synonyms
quality
Correct article usage
a quality
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
can outweigh its drawbacks.
To begin
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with, the adverse impact of living high
quality
Use synonyms
lifestyle
Use synonyms
is that it leads to
change
Correct article usage
a change
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their
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in their
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traditional customs to
golabal
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global
conversions. In
veiw
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view
of
tha
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the
fact that
people
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attract
Wrong verb form
attracted
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to pretend who had lived in
situation
Add an article
a situation
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of living
standards
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before
,
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apply
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if they have good money.
For example
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, Turkish citizens
had wear
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wore
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their traditional dresses until
2000
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the 2000
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year. After
2000
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the 2000
show examples
year, they started to wear more fashionable clothes.
This
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is
due to
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fact
Correct article usage
the fact
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that
Turkish
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the Turkish
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government achieved success
to develop
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in developing
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its economic condition.
Consequently
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, locals began to wear
golabal
Correct your spelling
global
clothes by living
standards
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, the prominent positive influence of living
standards
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is that it can help
people
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live
more
Correct article usage
a more
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comfortably
Change the word
comfortable
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
. Obviously, when individuals
are earned
Wrong verb form
earn
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good
salary
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salaries
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,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
would
Verb problem
apply
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reduce their stress.
Therefore
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they are able to avoid
from
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apply
show examples
getting
a chronic diseases
Correct the article-noun agreement
chronic diseases
a chronic disease
show examples
.
Foe
Correct your spelling
For
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example,
according to
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World
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the World
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Organization Health,
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the Frenchs
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Frenchs
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French
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have the lowest percentage of
getting
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apply
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migraine
compare
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compared
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to other countries.
This
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is because of the fact that
people
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in France have a
relax
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relaxed
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
by supporting
monthly
Add an article
the monthly
show examples
frim
Correct your spelling
firm
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government.
This
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is because the policy prevents them from
doing
Verb problem
being
show examples
stress
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
.
Consequently
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, they do not catch risky illnesses. Another positive impact is that the living
standards
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has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
ability
Change the article
the ability
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to spread enjoyment and entertainment among
poeople
Correct your spelling
people
.
Thus
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, they will get
satusfaction
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
from politicians’ policy . In conclusion,
although
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living
standards
Use synonyms
through economic development has disadvantages
such
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as losing their social values, still it has more fundamental positive
impacats
Correct your spelling
impacts
impact
. In my opinion, I think that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
living high
quality
Use synonyms
lifestyle
Use synonyms
through any improvement is more beneficial to society
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
its drawbacks.
Submitted by ab.ciyani on

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Ensure a clear, logical structure throughout your essay by organizing it into well-defined paragraphs, each centered around a single main idea. Use transition words (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast') to smoothly link ideas and paragraphs together, enhancing the flow of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your introduction and conclusion, clearly state your thesis and summarize the main points of your argument, respectively. This helps to frame your essay effectively for the reader, clearly indicating your stance on the issue and summarizing your key arguments.
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Each paragraph should focus on a single main point supported by specific examples or evidence. This makes your argument more persuasive and easier for the reader to follow. Avoid general statements or examples that are not directly relevant to your argument.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay fully addresses the task, including all parts of the prompt. Your essay should present a balanced view that weighs both advantages and disadvantages before concluding. Make sure your ideas are clear and comprehensive, directly responding to the prompt.
Task Achievement
Include relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. These examples should be directly linked to the points you're making and help illustrate your argument more effectively. Avoid generic statements and aim for detailed, specific examples that strengthen your stance.
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