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Band 5.5

Some people think that robots are important for human future development. Others believe that robots has negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #robots #future #development #effects #society
Robot technology is evolving more in
this
 modern era, which creates a sense of insecurity among certain groups because they believe it can be a threat to humanity in various aspects.
However
, some argue it can help humankind to achieve more success than ever before. From my perspective, it will bring more good than harm.
To begin
 with, the Evolution of Robotic technology has many beneficial impacts on human future progression. First of all, their intelligence has brought
revolution
Add an article
a revolution
show examples
 in automotive industries as we are able to create self-driving cars
such
 as Tesla. These cars minimize the risk of accidents on roads.
Moreover
,
robots
 can improve the quality and efficiency of production as they can perform heavy-duty work in a matter of days,
whereas
 it takes months to finish by hand.
In addition
,
robots
 can reduce the worker’s exposure to various hazards which can cause injury or death.
For example
, in case of a gas blast, we can send them to do dangerous tasks.
On the other hand
, there is no double that
this
 development
also
 has some adverse effects.
Firstly
,
robots
 are much
fast
Correct word choice
faster
show examples
 and
cost-effective
Correct quantifier usage
more cost-effective
show examples
 than humans,
thus
, they can easily replace people.
Consequantily
Correct your spelling
Consequently
,
this
 can hike the unemployment rate among people.
For example
, some restaurants
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 employed
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
robots
 as servers as they were inexpensive
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Furthermore
, another concern is that
robots
 can be used as a destructive weapon in a war by any nation.
This
 action can cause more damage to civil society as they don’t have any emotions or feelings like humans. In conclusion,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 there are some concerns related to
this
 development like unemployment, the positive impacts on our future are far greater as it can save thousands of people in many ways.
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Coherence & Cohesion
1. Utilize more complex sentence structures to improve the logical structure of your arguments. This will enhance the flow of your essay and make your points clearer. 2. Try integrating transitional phrases more effectively between sentences and paragraphs to improve coherence. This helps guide the reader through your arguments seamlessly. 3. Support your main points with a wider range of examples and evidence. While your examples are relevant, adding more could further strength your argumentation.
Task Achievement
1. Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task. Although you have discussed both views and given your opinion, expanding on your opinion with further justification would enhance your completion of the task. 2. Introduce more complex ideas to deepen the analysis of the topic. This can be achieved by exploring the societal, economic, and ethical implications of robotic advancements in greater depth. 3. Incorporate more specific examples to underpin your arguments. While the examples used are appropriate, additional ones could provide a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • precision
  • efficiency
  • production outputs
  • cost savings
  • innovation
  • medical outcomes
  • human error
  • exploration
  • hazardous environments
  • unemployment
  • economic disparity
  • ethical concerns
  • privacy
  • security
  • misuse
  • dependency
  • overreliance
  • social isolation
  • manual labor
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