Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people thinkk that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
#development #expansion #supermarkets #countries #business #people #thinkk #closure #death #communities
Historically, The Industrial Revolution changed
rate
of productivity Add an article
the rate
to
Change preposition
apply
the
worldwide, Correct article usage
apply
then
nowadays many recognized companies that produce and export many products with high
scope of warehouses and products have been created. Add an article
the high
a high
However
, there have been many consequences and some people argue that local companies could dissapear
Correct your spelling
disappear
due to
low revenues. I partially agree with this
statement because these are considered two different types of marketing and people purchase goods in both of them depending on what they are looking for.
Firstly
, many supermarkets and shopping stores, which are highly recognized, have shown facilites
to obtain articles. Correct your spelling
facilities
For example
, Falabella that
is a big clothing company founded in Chile has many branches in Colombia and offers well-known brands Correct pronoun usage
which
such
PatPrimo
, Gucci, Channel, Basement, etc. Change preposition
as PatPrimo
Then
, most of
Change preposition
apply
the
people are able to acquire Correct article usage
apply
these
type of merchandise Correct determiner usage
this
due to
its lower cost. As a cosequence
of Correct your spelling
consequence
this
, it represents high rates of sales and profits gained by big corporations.
However
, local establishments are still maintained owing to its
main advantages, Correct pronoun usage
their
such
as:
high-quality and personalized articles Remove the comma
apply
as well as
textures and flavours that are much more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
fresh
in Replace the word
fresher
case
of marketing food. Correct article usage
the case
For example
, in Colombia
there is a specific type of cookies, which are called "Achiras", not only produced from a crop that Add a comma
Colombia,
just
could be cultivated and harvested locally but Rephrase
apply
also
just
specific artisans have the principal recipe. Rephrase
apply
For
this
reason, The Goverment
has generated new rules and Correct your spelling
government
polices
to maintain Correct your spelling
policies
this
regional production.
To sum up
, although
many goods are bought in supermarkets, small bussines
still represent Correct your spelling
businesses
high-competitiveness
Correct your spelling
high competitiveness
due to
its
specific Correct pronoun usage
their
attibutes
. Correct your spelling
attributes
As a consequence
, both types of markets are maintained and improved.Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on
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task achievement
Your essay successfully address the topic and makes a relevant argument, but the response is not fully developed to answer the question of local communities' death comprehensively. Consider specifying how supermarkets' rise affect local communities directly to enhance task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay's structure is generally logical, but it can benefit from clearer connection between paragraphs and more explicit signposting to guide the reader through your argument. Try using transition phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
To strengthen your essay, make sure your introduction outlines your main points, and your conclusion summarises them clearly. This will help make your argument more compelling and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied and complex sentence structures to add depth to your argument. Additionally, pay attention to minor spelling and grammar errors, as correcting these will enhance the readability of your essay.
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