Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays
due to
the development of modern
technologies
Add a comma
technologies,
show examples
almost everyone can see
Add an article
the exhibition
show examples
exhibition
Fix the agreement mistake
exhibitions
show examples
online,
therefore
museums
are longer useful for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. I strongly disagree with
this
statement,
hence
new
technologies
extend access to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
does not take the job of
museums
,
hence
they can provide
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
different
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
of
emergening
Correct your spelling
emerging
in history. On one hand, online galleries can not replace
emotions
Correct article usage
the emotions
show examples
that
museums
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
.
For instance
,
Louvre
Correct article usage
the Louvre
show examples
has thousands of visitors every day, and most of them are gathered to see the Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci, one of the most famous paintings.
Furthermore
, most of those
people
who dream
to see
Change preposition
of seeing
show examples
the Mona Lisa, have already seen her plenty of times online.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
it can not replace emotions from witnessing
such
a masterpiece in real life.
Therefore
,
people
would continue to visit
museums
even
so
Correct word choice
though
show examples
they
already
Add a missing verb
were already
show examples
aware
what
Change preposition
of what
show examples
would they see there.
Furthermore
,
technologies
can be used for the benefit of
museums
.
For example
, there is a new museum in Dubai which is not about the history but the future of humanity, there are new
technologies
that help
people
to
emerse
Correct your spelling
emerge
immerse
into the exhibition.
Therefore
,
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
an instrument for humanity and it can be used to improve experience drastically. In conclusion, new
technologies
can provide additional information or give access to
people
who can not visit
museums
.
However
, they can not replace the emotions and feelings from visiting
museums
. I personally think that online galleries can not take over
museums
, and replace them.
Submitted by dyussenovaanel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using a more varied sentence structure to enhance the readability of your essay. Incorporating complex sentences and utilizing a wide range of conjunctions can make your arguments flow more smoothly and engagingly.
Coherence and Cohesion
To strengthen your essay's coherence, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by specific examples or evidence. This will make your arguments more persuasive and easier to follow.
Task Achievement
For Task Achievement, make sure to directly address the prompt by explicitly stating your position on the issue in both the introduction and the conclusion. This clarity will enhance the overall impact of your essay.
Task Achievement
To improve your score further, integrate a wider variety of vocabulary related to the topic. Using specific terms related to museums, technology, and emotions can add depth and precision to your arguments.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!