Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays
due to
the development of modern
technologies
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technologies,
show examples
almost everyone can see
Add an article
the exhibition
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exhibition
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exhibitions
show examples
online,
therefore
museums
are longer useful for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. I strongly disagree with
this
statement,
hence
new
technologies
extend access to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge,
however
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however,
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does not take the job of
museums
,
hence
they can provide
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
different
level
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levels
show examples
of
emergening
Correct your spelling
emerging
in history. On one hand, online galleries can not replace
emotions
Correct article usage
the emotions
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that
museums
provides
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provide
show examples
.
For instance
,
Louvre
Correct article usage
the Louvre
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has thousands of visitors every day, and most of them are gathered to see the Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci, one of the most famous paintings.
Furthermore
, most of those
people
who dream
to see
Change preposition
of seeing
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the Mona Lisa, have already seen her plenty of times online.
However
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However,
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it can not replace emotions from witnessing
such
a masterpiece in real life.
Therefore
,
people
would continue to visit
museums
even
so
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though
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they
already
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were already
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aware
what
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of what
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would they see there.
Furthermore
,
technologies
can be used for the benefit of
museums
.
For example
, there is a new museum in Dubai which is not about the history but the future of humanity, there are new
technologies
that help
people
to
emerse
Correct your spelling
emerge
immerse
into the exhibition.
Therefore
,
technologies
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technology
show examples
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
an instrument for humanity and it can be used to improve experience drastically. In conclusion, new
technologies
can provide additional information or give access to
people
who can not visit
museums
.
However
, they can not replace the emotions and feelings from visiting
museums
. I personally think that online galleries can not take over
museums
, and replace them.
Submitted by dyussenovaanel on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using a more varied sentence structure to enhance the readability of your essay. Incorporating complex sentences and utilizing a wide range of conjunctions can make your arguments flow more smoothly and engagingly.
Coherence and Cohesion
To strengthen your essay's coherence, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by specific examples or evidence. This will make your arguments more persuasive and easier to follow.
Task Achievement
For Task Achievement, make sure to directly address the prompt by explicitly stating your position on the issue in both the introduction and the conclusion. This clarity will enhance the overall impact of your essay.
Task Achievement
To improve your score further, integrate a wider variety of vocabulary related to the topic. Using specific terms related to museums, technology, and emotions can add depth and precision to your arguments.
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