The most important aim of sience should be to improve people's live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

#aim #sience #people

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays. with the development of technology, the

sience

Correct your spelling

science

also

enhance

Correct subject-verb agreement

enhances

show examples

to serve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society and play a huge role in

this

system. So, I wholeheartedly concur with

this

issue.

Firstly

, about the healthcare problem.

Sience

Correct your spelling

Science

Since

contribute

Correct subject-verb agreement

contributes

show examples

develop

Change the verb form

developing

show examples

the medical field. Thanks to

development

Add an article

the development

show examples

of technology and the

effort

Fix the agreement mistake

efforts

show examples

siencetist

Correct your spelling

scientists

a lots

Correct the article-noun agreement

a lot

lots

show examples

people

who

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

incurable

Add an article

the incurable

show examples

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

can feel more conflict and receive more

encourage

Replace the word

encouragement

show examples

to live and beat

this circumstance

Fix the agreement mistake

these circumstances

show examples

For instance

, with the cancer. In the past, many

people

had to

encouter

Correct your spelling

encounter

this

disease and

unfortanately

Correct your spelling

unfortunately

can not overcome .

However

, in recent years, when the

sience

Correct your spelling

science

are

Change the verb form

show examples

growing up day by day. The virus can be discovered earlier and

this

is the factor

Correct pronoun usage

that help

show examples

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

victims

are

Wrong verb form

show examples

treated faster.

Besides

, there are many latest modern

method

Fix the agreement mistake

methods

show examples

are

Correct pronoun usage

that are

show examples

applying

Wrong verb form

applied

show examples

in the healing process and

also

for the medical

colledge

Correct your spelling

college

where

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

teaching

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young

doctor

Fix the agreement mistake

doctors

show examples

Secondly

, The improvement in

sience

Correct your spelling

science

and technology

also

support

Correct subject-verb agreement

supports

show examples

people

another field

Fix the agreement mistake

other fields

show examples

Such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

millitar

Correct your spelling

military

, education and farming.

For example

, in

Add an article

the study

show examples

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

base

Wrong verb form

based

show examples

sience

Correct your spelling

science

student

Add an article

the student

a student

show examples

can easily access new knowledge

Change preposition

with

show examples

one touch on their smartphone's screen or can research

a lots

Correct the article-noun agreement

a lot

lots

show examples

of documentaries without carrying

thick

Correct article usage

a thick

show examples

book

Fix the agreement mistake

books

show examples

whenever

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

need it. Following that, for

millitary

Correct your spelling

military

and security problems.

Sience

Correct your spelling

Science

can

also

help the demand of

people

For example

, by applying

sience

Correct your spelling

science

Change preposition

show examples

researching new

tecnology

Correct your spelling

technology

, many

impressed

Replace the word

impressive

show examples

invention was created with unique

design

Fix the agreement mistake

designs

show examples

, especially the security camera. By using

this

camera, the users can easily install

Correct pronoun usage

it in

show examples

many

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

unlimit and

carrying

Wrong verb form

carry

show examples

all the vision

tehy

Correct your spelling

they

want. In conclusion,

sience

Correct your spelling

science

since

play

Correct subject-verb agreement

plays

show examples

a huge role in human

societ

Correct your spelling

society

That is

the

indepensible

Correct your spelling

indispensable

indefensible

factor to enhance the living standard and contribute

encourage

Change preposition

to encouraging

show examples

the improvement in

another field

Fix the agreement mistake

other fields

show examples

, including military, education, healthcare and even politics.

Submitted by phamletrungkien1230 on Mon Mar 25 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

overall quality

To improve your essay, consider proofreading your work to minimize grammatical errors and use more accurate vocabulary. This will enhance your clarity and make your argument more convincing.

coherence & cohesion

Focus on creating more structured paragraphs. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence, followed by explanations and examples. This will greatly improve the logical structure of your essay.

task achievement

When providing examples, try to make them as specific and relevant as possible to strengthen your main points. This could involve citing recent studies, using statistics, or drawing from personal experiences where applicable.

conclusion enhancement

Consider expanding your conclusion by restating your main argument in a powerful manner and possibly suggesting possible implications or solutions,

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
61
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

293 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words.
In the rapid world, the topic about aged people is frequently discussed by the society .Many people believe that getting old is undesirable as you become useless, while others insist that the life of elderly people in today's world is several times better than it was in the past.This essay will try to explore both sides and in the end I will share my point of view.
8
band
Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?
Being obese was once only a condition that adults suffered from, but it is becoming more common in children. This essay will first discuss how fast food and a sedentary lifestyle are the primary causes of this growing problem and then outline how education and increased exercise are the most viable solutions.
4.5
band
These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However others believe that it make life more difficult for children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays there is a tendancy to relocate overseas for lucrative jobs.While a faction of people holds the notion that this movement is challanging for juveniles, others argue that it is better for children. This essay will delve into both viewpoints and explain my support for the latter view.
6.5
band
An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?
In contemporary society, when people want to become celebrities such as actors, boy bands, and girl groups, they have to have a good appearance to attract others to like them. Therefore, there is an increase in the number of people tending to have cosmetic surgery in order to develop their face while many believe that more individuals have to use this method to change their look. This essay will discuss both sides of the controversial issue, and my opinion will be provided.
5
band
Difference between countries is becoming less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world people share some fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and tv channels. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays , It is hard to recognize the difference between the nations because most of the people share commom interests in fashion,foods ,brands and tv channels . Although , young generation loosing their traditional roots , I believe that this trend has more advantages then drawbacks , people respect each other culture by sharing common platform.

The most important aim of sience should be to improve people's live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?

These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However others believe that it make life more difficult for children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

Difference between countries is becoming less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world people share some fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and tv channels. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?