The most important aim of sience should be to improve people's live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?
Nowadays. with the development of technology, the
sience
Correct your spelling
science
also
enhance
to serve Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
the
society and play a huge role in Correct article usage
apply
this
system. So, I wholeheartedly concur with this
issue.
Firstly
, about the healthcare problem. Sience
Correct your spelling
Science
Since
contribute
to Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
develop
the medical field. Thanks to Change the verb form
developing
development
of technology and the Add an article
the development
effort
of Fix the agreement mistake
efforts
siencetist
. Correct your spelling
scientists
a lots
of Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
people
who has
Change the verb form
have
incurable
Add an article
the incurable
disease
can feel more conflict and receive more Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
encourage
to live and beat Replace the word
encouragement
this circumstance
. Fix the agreement mistake
these circumstances
For instance
, with the cancer. In the past, many people
had to encouter
Correct your spelling
encounter
this
disease and unfortanately
can not overcome . Correct your spelling
unfortunately
However
, in recent years, when the sience
Correct your spelling
science
are
growing up day by day. The virus can be discovered earlier and Change the verb form
is
this
is the factor Correct pronoun usage
that help
help
victims Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
are
treated faster. Wrong verb form
be
Besides
, there are many latest modern method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
applying
in the healing process and Wrong verb form
applied
also
for the medical colledge
where Correct your spelling
college
is
teaching Unnecessary verb
apply
the
young Correct article usage
apply
doctor
. Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
Secondly
, The improvement in sience
and technology Correct your spelling
science
also
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
people
in another field
. Fix the agreement mistake
other fields
Such
as,
Remove the comma
apply
millitar
, education and farming. Correct your spelling
military
For example
, in Add an article
the study
study
, Fix the agreement mistake
studies
base
on Wrong verb form
based
sience
, Correct your spelling
science
student
can easily access new knowledge Add an article
the student
a student
by
one touch on their smartphone's screen or can research Change preposition
with
a lots
of documentaries without carrying Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
thick
Correct article usage
a thick
book
whenever Fix the agreement mistake
books
the
need it. Following that, for Correct your spelling
they
millitary
and security problems. Correct your spelling
military
Sience
can Correct your spelling
Science
also
help the demand of people
. For example
, by applying sience
Correct your spelling
science
in
researching new Change preposition
to
tecnology
, many Correct your spelling
technology
impressed
invention was created with unique Replace the word
impressive
design
, especially the security camera. By using Fix the agreement mistake
designs
this
camera, the users can easily install in
many Correct pronoun usage
it in
place
unlimit and Fix the agreement mistake
places
carrying
all the vision Wrong verb form
carry
tehy
want.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
they
sience
Correct your spelling
science
since
play
a huge role in human Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
societ
. Correct your spelling
society
That is
the indepensible
factor to enhance the living standard and contribute Correct your spelling
indispensable
indefensible
encourage
the improvement in Change preposition
to encouraging
another field
, including military, education, healthcare and even politics.Fix the agreement mistake
other fields
Submitted by phamletrungkien1230 on
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overall quality
To improve your essay, consider proofreading your work to minimize grammatical errors and use more accurate vocabulary. This will enhance your clarity and make your argument more convincing.
coherence & cohesion
Focus on creating more structured paragraphs. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence, followed by explanations and examples. This will greatly improve the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
When providing examples, try to make them as specific and relevant as possible to strengthen your main points. This could involve citing recent studies, using statistics, or drawing from personal experiences where applicable.
conclusion enhancement
Consider expanding your conclusion by restating your main argument in a powerful manner and possibly suggesting possible implications or solutions,
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion