The most important aim of sience should be to improve people's live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

#aim #sience #people

Nowadays. with the development of technology, the

sience

Correct your spelling

science

also

enhance

Correct subject-verb agreement

enhances

show examples

to serve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society and play a huge role in

this

system. So, I wholeheartedly concur with

this

issue.

Firstly

, about the healthcare problem.

Sience

Correct your spelling

Science

Since

contribute

Correct subject-verb agreement

contributes

show examples

develop

Change the verb form

developing

show examples

the medical field. Thanks to

development

Add an article

the development

show examples

of technology and the

effort

Fix the agreement mistake

efforts

show examples

siencetist

Correct your spelling

scientists

a lots

Correct the article-noun agreement

a lot

lots

show examples

people

who

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

incurable

Add an article

the incurable

show examples

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

can feel more conflict and receive more

encourage

Replace the word

encouragement

show examples

to live and beat

this circumstance

Fix the agreement mistake

these circumstances

show examples

For instance

, with the cancer. In the past, many

people

had to

encouter

Correct your spelling

encounter

this

disease and

unfortanately

Correct your spelling

unfortunately

can not overcome .

However

, in recent years, when the

sience

Correct your spelling

science

are

Change the verb form

show examples

growing up day by day. The virus can be discovered earlier and

this

is the factor

Correct pronoun usage

that help

show examples

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

victims

are

Wrong verb form

show examples

treated faster.

Besides

, there are many latest modern

method

Fix the agreement mistake

methods

show examples

are

Correct pronoun usage

that are

show examples

applying

Wrong verb form

applied

show examples

in the healing process and

also

for the medical

colledge

Correct your spelling

college

where

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

teaching

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young

doctor

Fix the agreement mistake

doctors

show examples

Secondly

, The improvement in

sience

Correct your spelling

science

and technology

also

support

Correct subject-verb agreement

supports

show examples

people

another field

Fix the agreement mistake

other fields

show examples

Such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

millitar

Correct your spelling

military

, education and farming.

For example

, in

Add an article

the study

show examples

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

base

Wrong verb form

based

show examples

sience

Correct your spelling

science

student

Add an article

the student

a student

show examples

can easily access new knowledge

Change preposition

with

show examples

one touch on their smartphone's screen or can research

a lots

Correct the article-noun agreement

a lot

lots

show examples

of documentaries without carrying

thick

Correct article usage

a thick

show examples

book

Fix the agreement mistake

books

show examples

whenever

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

need it. Following that, for

millitary

Correct your spelling

military

and security problems.

Sience

Correct your spelling

Science

can

also

help the demand of

people

For example

, by applying

sience

Correct your spelling

science

Change preposition

show examples

researching new

tecnology

Correct your spelling

technology

, many

impressed

Replace the word

impressive

show examples

invention was created with unique

design

Fix the agreement mistake

designs

show examples

, especially the security camera. By using

this

camera, the users can easily install

Correct pronoun usage

it in

show examples

many

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

unlimit and

carrying

Wrong verb form

carry

show examples

all the vision

tehy

Correct your spelling

they

want. In conclusion,

sience

Correct your spelling

science

since

play

Correct subject-verb agreement

plays

show examples

a huge role in human

societ

Correct your spelling

society

That is

the

indepensible

Correct your spelling

indispensable

indefensible

factor to enhance the living standard and contribute

encourage

Change preposition

to encouraging

show examples

the improvement in

another field

Fix the agreement mistake

other fields

show examples

, including military, education, healthcare and even politics.

Submitted by phamletrungkien1230 on Mon Mar 25 2024

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overall quality

To improve your essay, consider proofreading your work to minimize grammatical errors and use more accurate vocabulary. This will enhance your clarity and make your argument more convincing.

coherence & cohesion

Focus on creating more structured paragraphs. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence, followed by explanations and examples. This will greatly improve the logical structure of your essay.

task achievement

When providing examples, try to make them as specific and relevant as possible to strengthen your main points. This could involve citing recent studies, using statistics, or drawing from personal experiences where applicable.

conclusion enhancement

Consider expanding your conclusion by restating your main argument in a powerful manner and possibly suggesting possible implications or solutions,

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
61Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

293 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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The most important aim of sience should be to improve people's live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

News stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. What is your opinion about this?

some people say that fashion affects our lives in a negative way. However, others say that it has more positive effects on our lives. discuss both views and give your opinion.

The younger generation is mainly responsible for the latest technological developments. How far do you agree?

the pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.