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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentages of reader who preferred to read certain types of book at A&Z library in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentages of reader who preferred to read certain types of book at A&Z library in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie graphs below give information about the proportion of the main
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoyed
show examples
 kinds of
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 in
A&Z
Correct article usage
the A&Z
show examples
 library in the period 2009.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 there are different
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
preferred types of
reader
Fix the agreement mistake
readers
show examples
 in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 groups but
self help
Add a hyphen
self-help
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 in both groups
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the highest
similarly
Linking Words
. In
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 group-which included people between 18 and 25 years old, the largest accounted for 58
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 belonged to
self help
Add a hyphen
self-help
show examples
books
Use synonyms
,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 was novels, biographies and science fiction
books
Use synonyms
 with the percentages
peaked
Wrong verb form
peaking
show examples
 at 23, 10 and 9 respectively. In
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 owned
people
Change preposition
by people
show examples
 from 26 to 34 years old,
although
Linking Words
self help
Add a hyphen
self-help
show examples
books
Use synonyms
not
Add a missing verb
were not
show examples
taked
Correct your spelling
taken
take
 up
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half, it was
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same trend as the 18-25 years old group with 42
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the kinds of novels,
biographies
Correct word choice
and biographies
show examples
 showed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
figures more
10
Change preposition
than 10
show examples
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 with biographies
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second at 31
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
along with
Linking Words
 novels
was
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, the science fiction
books
Use synonyms
 were the only lower 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 at 7
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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