IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people prefer to carefully plan activities in their free time others think it’s a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your answer?

#people #plan #activities #time #it’s #waste
A number of individuals tend to manage plan undertakings in their leisure
time
. Meanwhile, others assumed that it is
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
show examples
 of way to
proscratinating
Correct your spelling
procrastinating
. I will discuss both of these opinions and
providing
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
 my own views. On the one hand, some communities spend their activities in
leissure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
 efficiently by planning. In some cases, planning allows
people
 to maximise enjoyment because
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
ensure
Correct subject-verb agreement
ensures
show examples
people
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
spend their
time
 in
comfortable
Add an article
a comfortable
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
.
In addition
,
people
come
Correct pronoun usage
who come
show examples
with
Change preposition
up with
show examples
Correct article usage
a schedulling
show examples
schedulling
Correct your spelling
scheduling
scheme
Fix the agreement mistake
schemes
show examples
 in their free
time
also
 are likely to utilize
time
 effectively.
This
also
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 us to
pursuing
Wrong verb form
pursue
show examples
 our main target and priorities.
For example
, in the
last
 school period holiday, students prefer to seriously manage a plan in order to be suitable with their school schedule and available budget. On the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 hand, some individuals think that planning is kind of
proscratinating
Correct your spelling
procrastinating
. Because
eveybody
Correct your spelling
everybody
 has
limited
Correct article usage
a limited
show examples
 ability to create
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
 management on their own,
thus
, they are more comfortable
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
 everything spontaneously.
In addition
,
this
 case depends on personal preference, some
people
 differ
which
Change preposition
on which
show examples
 activities require serious planning schemes and which do not.
For example
, walking around resident's
housings
Fix the agreement mistake
housing
show examples
 and doing hobbies are not essential activities to create its plans.
Furthermore
, if we are obsessed with many plans, it will enhance our stress level.
Overall
, I think that planning in our
leissure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
 is crucial for us, as long as we have
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of agendas that must be completed quickly
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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logical structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction that outlines your essay, a body that discusses each view in separate paragraphs, and a conclusion that sums up your opinions with a clear standpoint. This structure helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
introduction conclusion present
While your introduction and conclusion are present, make them more impactful by clearly stating your thesis in the introduction and reinforcing your stance in the conclusion. This helps to make your essay more persuasive and cohesive.
supported main points
When presenting main points, it's beneficial to provide deeper analysis and more developed examples. This will make your argument stronger and more compelling.
complete response
While you've addressed the task, ensure your response fully answers all parts of the prompt. Incorporate a balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand your ideas to ensure they are fully developed. Use authentic examples to illustrate your points. This will make your essay more informative and engaging.
relevant specific examples
Use more specific examples to support your arguments. This will add credibility to your essay and help illustrate your points more clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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