Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion ?

Many individuals consider that the key to being successful in life is to work hard and to be determined but other viewpoints support
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
income and appearance as the most important elements.
This
essay by discussing both points of view will support with explanations and examples the first viewpoint as the most determinant factors for success. The viewpoint that money and good looking are important to reach achievement, it
is function
Change the verb form
is functioning
show examples
in particular
cases. Several
job
Change to a plural noun
jobs
show examples
have specific requirements for a work position
such
as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
appearance.
For example
, in positions
such
as receptionist or hostess
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the most important element to have success is to have a good posture and appearance. In cases of processing a lot of money, it can help to open a business and
fast-growing
Add a missing verb
be fast-growing
show examples
by contracting
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
who process complex skills needed to solve problems. The triumph is not on a personal level but achieved with the help of others. It is more than clear the importance of hard work and determination in order to be successful. By working hard and being determined to move forward different skills and knowledge are gained.
This
skill and information are the keys to a brighter career as it will be easy to deal with all problems which require advanced information and skills to be solved. In conclusion,
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
and good
looking
Fix the agreement mistake
looks
show examples
are important elements to be successful only in specific cases
while
on the other
have
Correct your spelling
hand
show examples
the hard effort and strong motivation to achieve high levels are the most important elements for success.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on diversifying your sentence structures and using a range of linking words to show the relationship between ideas more clearly. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay and make your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
To improve your task achievement score, ensure that your opinion is clearly stated in the introduction and is subsequently reflected and elaborated upon throughout the essay. Present a more nuanced discussion of the given viewpoints and aim to integrate more varied and specific examples to support your claims.
grammar vocabulary
Avoid minor spelling and grammatical errors as they can distract from your message. Proofreading your work can help to minimize these. Additionally, enriching your vocabulary by using a wider range of words and expressions would increase the academic tone of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • effort
  • tenacity
  • external factors
  • financial resources
  • favorable appearance
  • perceptions
  • advantages
  • intrinsic
  • extrinsic
  • sustainable
  • facilitating
  • undeniable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: