Some People Think That Success In Life Comes From Hard Work And Determination, While Others Think That There Are More Important Factors Such As Money And Appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is a common view that
success
in life is the result of hard work and determination instead
of depending on other elements such
as richness or appearance. This
writer agrees that everyone needs to try their best to gain high achievement due to
long-term efficiency rather than relying on money.
There is no doubt that perseverance is a key leading to success
efficiently because the more experience people get, the better they can complete the tasks. As a result
, teenagers tend to try doing every job to gain knowledge as much as possible even without a salary. Therefore
, it can be considered that determination, which is an irreplaceable factor, plays a pivotal role in the success
of each person.
However
, some presume that appearance and money also
have impacts on the last
outcome. This
belief is based on the changes in this
modern society. In other words
, employers, nowadays, tend to prioritize who have
a good externality or can offer them a certain value of money Correct subject-verb agreement
has
instead
of paying attention to the talent. Nevertheless
, these cases are seriously unequal as
well Correct word choice
and
as
difficult to maintain long-term efficiency even though employees can reach their goals faster. Correct your spelling
is
Therefore
, companies need to depend more on talent and level of hard-working
in order to ensure accomplishment in the future.
Replace the word
hard work
This
writer believes that people need to be determined to pursue their aim instead
of relying on different elements due to
the fact that difficulty is unavoidable. If a person tries their best to gain experience, even fail in some cases, they will be able to solve every issue they must against due to
the large amount of knowledge. According to
Bill Gates, success
is not a place for the lazy.
In conclusion, although
experience is significantly essential in this
modern era, if people are lazy and do not know to
utilize Rephrase
how to
this
advantage, they will lose the chance of promotion. As a consequence
, this
writer illustrates that determination has never been enough to reach happiness easily.Submitted by [email protected] on
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Task Achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly introduces the topic and outlines your position. Provide a succinct thesis statement summarizing the main points you will discuss.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to help guide the reader through your arguments. This will also help improve the logical flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
In the body paragraphs, develop your main points more fully with specific examples and explanations. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Conclude your essay by summarizing your main points and reiterating your position. Ensure your conclusion is consistent with the arguments presented in the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to the topic sentences of your paragraphs. Each should clearly state the main point of the paragraph, and the following sentences should support that point with details or examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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