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Band 2

Some people think that children receive compulsory subjects in local schools, others prefer private schools. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #subjects #schools
Nowadays, government
build
Wrong verb form
is building
show examples
 new
schools
 and people
study
 in them Some people don'
t
 like local
schools
 because they are thinking. People aren'
t
 studying
Change preposition
in local
show examples
local
Change preposition
in local
show examples
schools
. Local
schools
Add a missing verb
are differences
show examples
differences
Replace the word
different
show examples
 and private
schools
. They are big and careful for Austin's. Teachers don'
t
don'
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
t
took
Change the form of the verb
take
show examples
 money for
study
 and you will
study
 money. For different languages, I
am agreed
Wrong verb form
agree
show examples
 that opinion is private
schools
prefer
Wrong verb form
are preferred
show examples
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
local
schools
 Cause of they give
adjectively
Correct your spelling
adjectives
show examples
study
Fix the infinitive
to study
show examples
 for students. Definitely Our neighbor Child Go. Private
schools
 and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
he said that
us
Change the pronoun
our
show examples
schools
 are very comfortable for all of
studentsHe
Correct your spelling
students
 learned
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
, He took Certificate and he very happy when we go . Our grandparents and
grandmother's
Change noun form
grandmothers
show examples
study
Wrong verb form
studied
show examples
 local
schools
 and they are
know
Correct your spelling
now
show examples
studying well and they don'
t
 lie they're Teachers In.Local
schools
are supported
Wrong verb form
support
show examples
all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pupils so local
Schools
 are
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 for us. At the moment local
schools
 aren'
t
 studying us so
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
don'
t
study
schools
Change preposition
at schools
show examples
. Unfortunately.
Schools
 build are more than more. In conclusion, these
schools
 are both of them
study
,
pleace
Correct your spelling
please
So we protect to them and
study
 well.
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

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Task Achievement
To improve task response, make sure to directly address the essay question by discussing both viewpoints and clearly stating your own opinion. Ensure you provide a balanced argument before concluding with your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better coherence, organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea. Use transition words to guide the reader from one idea to the next, ensuring a smooth flow of thoughts.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance cohesion within your essay, develop and support your main points with specific examples or arguments. This not only strengthens your stance but also helps the reader understand and follow your reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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