Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Studies indicate that socialising online is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
preferable for many
teenagers
rather than meeting in
person
.
This
essay will examine the factors behind
this
case and what measures
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could be used to encourage
teenagers
to spend more time
to meet
Change the verb form
meeting
show examples
in
person
. Nowadays, the development of technology has
drove
Change the verb form
driven
show examples
people into
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
various new trends of living,
such
as online
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a numerous option
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
online meeting
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
that can be used freely and easily by anyone from anywhere.
This
way of communicating and socializing is way more flexible than
in
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
person
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
.
Moreover
, it can
facilitates
Wrong verb form
facilitate
show examples
us to talk and chat with people from different
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
of the earth. Other than the considerable amount of benefits from online
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
, the era when an individual born is
also
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
a significant impact. Today's
teenagers
were born in the middle of
digital
Add an article
the digital
show examples
era where technology has been developed gradually. More or less, it will
stimulates
Change the verb form
stimulate
show examples
a
strength
Replace the word
strong
show examples
familiarity
of
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with
show examples
using digital technologies since their childhood and build up a dependency on
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers
. So,
basically
Add a comma
basically,
show examples
this
is a normal phenomenon where young adults choose to
socialising
Change the verb form
socialise
show examples
online
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
offline
. They felt that they
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
get to know everybody
from
Change preposition
through
show examples
social media and gain many international friends without having effort to go outside of their houses. They can
socialising
Change the verb form
socialise
be socialising
show examples
while
doing other things,
such
as playing a game, at the same time. Grew a willingness of
in
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
person
meeting in
teenagers
will need much
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
. The older generation,
such
as parents, need to force their young adults to have an
offline
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
with their friends. They can give a restriction
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
duration
Add an article
the duration
show examples
of playing phone
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their children so that they can be pushed to go outside and play with friends. Other than that, as a neighborhood, they can build up a hub to facilitate group activities,
such
as
park
Correct article usage
a park
show examples
, library, and
cafetaria
Correct your spelling
cafeteria
. In conclusion,
teenagers
tend to like socialising online
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
offline
is because
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
show examples
already familiar with
this
scheme of socialization.
However
, there are still many ways to encourage them to familiarize
with
Correct pronoun usage
themselves with
show examples
offline
socialization.
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Introduction and Conclusion
Work on enriching your introduction and conclusion to make them more captivating and conclusive, respectively. The introduction could include a clearer thesis statement, while the conclusion should summarise the points made more assertively.
Support for Main Points
Enhance the development of your main points by incorporating more specific examples and evidences. This could involve citing studies, statistics or personal anecdotes that directly support your arguments.
Logical Structure
Try to structure your essay more logically by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Use phrases that link ideas (such as 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', and 'As a result') to increase the flow of your essay.
Complete Response and Ideas Development
To fully satisfy the task achievement criteria, ensure that your essay comprehensively addresses all parts of the prompt. Your response could benefit from deeper analysis and discussion of the reasons teenagers prefer online socialising and more diversified suggestions for encouraging in-person meetings.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • socialization
  • curate
  • engaging
  • social anxiety
  • digital detox
  • tech-free zones
  • mentorship programs
  • real-world interactions
  • face-to-face settings
  • in-person participation
  • promote
  • deter
  • foster
  • appeal
  • perspectives
  • detox challenges
  • community service
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