some poeple think that succes in life comes from hard work and deternimation while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance . discuss both view and give your opinion.

#poeple #succes #life #work #deternimation #factors #money #appearance

Nowadays, many individuals believe that success in

life

begins with desire and difficult

work

otherwise

, some

people

think that

based

Add a missing verb

is based

show examples

on factors like income and external.

This

essay agrees that a victorious

life

comes from

work

hard and resolution. It must be

regconised

Correct your spelling

recognised

recognized

that

determination

and hard

work

are the focus to having a successful career.

In other words

, if

people

have a

determination

, they will have many motivation to study or

work

and gain more knowledge.

For example

, if you want to

admission

Wrong verb form

be admitted

show examples

to the high top rank university in your city, you must have a big stimulation and

hard-working

Correct word choice

hard

show examples

study more than ever.

However

, some opinions claim that money and aspect are the important reason to make a successful

life

In addition

people

who have a good appearance can make a positive impression on employers, which is the main factor that can

be help

Change the verb form

help

show examples

them make their lives more successful.

This

point may be true,

however

, the

people

, who make achievements from their

determination

are still more noticeable than the

people

who depend on appearance.

For instance

, when you want to apply to a famous company but you don't have talent and strength, but just have external beauty you will not be accepted because they don't need your beauty, what they need is what you can do for their company. From

this

writer's point of view, I believe that hard

work

and

determination

play an important role in a successful

life

This

is because

people

can not follow their careers if they are not passionate about their jobs.

People

will not receive anything if they do not

work

hard. In conclusion, a successful

life

is based on

people

determination

and hard-working process.

Therefore

this

essay has proven that the former view is better.

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Mar 25 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

To enhance coherence, progressively develop your arguments from paragraph to paragraph, ensuring a more logical flow of ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure your introduction and conclusion succinctly present and summarize your main arguments to improve their effectiveness.

General Advice

Be mindful of spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Accurate language use will improve clarity and professionalism in your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some poeple think that succes in life comes from hard work and deternimation while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance . discuss both view and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? how can people research this?

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

At the present time, populations of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Today more and more people wants things instantly( eg: goods, service, news,...) Why is this? Is it positive or negative development.

Some people think a family-run businesses are best, while others considerthis a potential source of problems. Discuss both views and give youraopinion.