In the future it may be necessary for us to live on other planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now to research other planets, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
modern technology
force
Change the verb form
forces
show examples
humans to live in
Correct article usage
an imagination
show examples
imagination
Replace the word
imaginative
show examples
world where they can think about
to live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
with align and other plants. Some people
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
that
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
must
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
show examples
on finding new
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
show examples
for new life because other plants are rich
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
natural resources. Considerly, pupils believe that money
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
finding a new
plant
is
great
Change the adjective
greatly
show examples
beneficial for new generations. They believed that new habitats will
rich
Add a missing verb
be rich
show examples
with natural
resource
Change the noun form
resources
show examples
such
as water, air and
herb
Fix the agreement mistake
herbs
show examples
. On earth, natural resources are depleting day by day
due to
extra usage of people.
Therefore
, they believe
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
enivronment
Correct your spelling
environment
has easy to live extra and clean natural resources. Moving
further
, every perspective
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
two
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
where we cannot
neglact
Correct your spelling
neglect
. Finding other
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
show examples
is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
thing but there are no possibilities yet for living
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
human life. We have to make sure that there will
some
Add a missing verb
be some
show examples
living
floura
Correct your spelling
flora
and
funa
Correct your spelling
fauna
fun
and
there
Correct word choice
that there
show examples
will
sold
Verb problem
be
show examples
evidence that provides that new
plant
Correct your spelling
planets
show examples
such
as Mars has life for living
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
To conclude
, spending money on searching new
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
show examples
good thing for new living
habitat
Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
show examples
but we cannot take any
step
Fix the agreement mistake
steps
show examples
until we
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
not get to know about
possibility
Add an article
the possibility
show examples
of living.
Submitted by ranjot59 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay needs clearer structure. Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be more explicitly defined with clear thesis statements and summaries. This will help provide a roadmap to your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your main points need better development and clearer logic in their presentation. Consider using separate paragraphs to discuss each major point, ensuring each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that summarises the paragraph's main idea.
task achievement
Your response appears to partially address the task, but you need to more directly state your position regarding the extent to which you agree or disagree at the beginning. Incorporate a wider range of ideas and examples to fully respond to the prompt.
task achievement
Use relevant, specific examples to support your points. These examples make your arguments more convincing and your writing more engaging. Consider current research efforts, technological advancements, or historical analogies.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of spelling and grammar. Misuse can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Consider using the term 'planet' instead of 'plant' throughout your essay, as the latter significantly alters the intended meaning.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: