In the future it may be necessary for us to live on other planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now to research other planets, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The
advance
modern technology Replace the word
advanced
force
humans to live in Change the verb form
forces
Correct article usage
an imagination
imagination
world where they can think about Replace the word
imaginative
to live
with align and other plants. Some people Change the verb form
living
believes
that Change the verb form
believe
incomes
must Fix the agreement mistake
income
be spend
on finding new Change the verb form
be spent
plant
for new life because other plants are rich Fix the agreement mistake
plants
with
natural resources.
Considerly, pupils believe that money Change preposition
in
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
for
finding a new Change preposition
on
plant
is great
beneficial for new generations. They believed that new habitats will Change the adjective
greatly
rich
with natural Add a missing verb
be rich
resource
Change the noun form
resources
such
as water, air and herb
. On earth, natural resources are depleting day by day Fix the agreement mistake
herbs
due to
extra usage of people. Therefore
, they believe new
Correct article usage
the new
enivronment
has easy to live extra and clean natural resources.
Moving Correct your spelling
environment
further
, every perspective have
two Change the verb form
has
side
where we cannot Change to a plural noun
sides
neglact
. Finding other Correct your spelling
neglect
plant
is Fix the agreement mistake
plants
good
thing but there are no possibilities yet for living Add an article
a good
of
human life. We have to make sure that there will Change preposition
apply
some
living Add a missing verb
be some
floura
and Correct your spelling
flora
funa
and Correct your spelling
fauna
fun
there
will Correct word choice
that there
sold
evidence that provides that new Verb problem
be
plant
Correct your spelling
planets
such
as Mars has life for living the
Correct article usage
apply
human
.
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
To conclude
, spending money on searching new plant
good thing for new living Fix the agreement mistake
plants
habitat
but we cannot take any Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
step
until we Fix the agreement mistake
steps
did
not get to know about Wrong verb form
do
possibility
of living.Add an article
the possibility
Submitted by ranjot59 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay needs clearer structure. Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be more explicitly defined with clear thesis statements and summaries. This will help provide a roadmap to your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your main points need better development and clearer logic in their presentation. Consider using separate paragraphs to discuss each major point, ensuring each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that summarises the paragraph's main idea.
task achievement
Your response appears to partially address the task, but you need to more directly state your position regarding the extent to which you agree or disagree at the beginning. Incorporate a wider range of ideas and examples to fully respond to the prompt.
task achievement
Use relevant, specific examples to support your points. These examples make your arguments more convincing and your writing more engaging. Consider current research efforts, technological advancements, or historical analogies.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of spelling and grammar. Misuse can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Consider using the term 'planet' instead of 'plant' throughout your essay, as the latter significantly alters the intended meaning.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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