IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You have seen an advertisement for part-time work in a hotel for threemonths over the summer. Write a letter to the manager. Say what experience you have Ask what the work involves Enquire about conditions

#advertisement #work #hotel #threemonths #summer #manager #enquire #conditions
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Dear Sir or Madam, The reason why
l
 am addressing you is that
l
 want to inform a few
question
Change to a plural noun
questions
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 about your
a
Correct article usage
apply
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hotel
.
Besides
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
this
work
 regarding
l
 have some experience and
also
l
 want to know
your
Correct the word
yours
show examples
 enquire. Well,
l
 am
student
Add an article
a student
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. I have seen
an
Change the article
a
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promote
Replace the word
promotion
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 for part-time
work
 in your
a
Correct article usage
apply
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hotel
 for
threemonths
Correct your spelling
three months
 over the summer. I was working as
cleaner
Correct article usage
a cleaner
show examples
 in a school
as well as
 in the city center
a
Change preposition
of a
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hospital. I should
be
Change the verb form
be working
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work
 for my
accomadation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 and life. I
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
show examples
 all hard
work
 because
l
 have
on
Change preposition
apply
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this
work
 my skills.
Firstly
,
l
want
Correct your spelling
won't
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 require to you. Your
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hotel
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 what is
work
. I want to know
this
 regarding some information. Where
situated in
Verb problem
is
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
hotel
?
Moreover
, have you
enquire
Change the verb form
enquired
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 or
answer
Wrong verb form
answered
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 about
situation
Add an article
the situation
a situation
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 to me?
For example
, it is about money or your rules to me. I totally agree to
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
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work
 or your
enquires
Replace the word
enquiries
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 because
l
 need to
work
. I hope you will
answers
Change the verb form
answer
show examples
 all my
quetions
Correct your spelling
questions
 regarding a
hotel
 and reply
my
Change preposition
to my
show examples
 letter as soon as possible. Thank you for your attention. Yours faithfully, Bakhriddinova Sitora
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Grammar & Punctuation
Ensure proper use of grammar and punctuation to enhance clarity and professional appearance. Frequent errors can significantly distract the reader and detract from the overall impression.
Task Response
Use specific examples and details about your previous experience to make your application more compelling. General statements are less effective.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your letter into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a different aspect of your query or information. For instance, one paragraph for introduction and stating the purpose, one for your experience, another for inquiries about the job, and one for conditions and closing remarks.
Tone
Adopt a more formal tone appropriate for a job application. Avoid using informal phrases and contractions. Address the recipient properly and maintain a professional and polite tone throughout.
Task Achievement
Clarify your questions and make sure they are directly related to the job and your ability to perform it. Vague inquiries may not elicit the information you need.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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