Some says that sports play an important role in society. Others, however,think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, many
people
different
sports
play and
sports
extremely
Add a missing verb
are extremely
show examples
important for some
people
and
also
some think that it is nothing a lot of than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free time. I agree with
this
statement because
sports
play
an
Change the article
a
show examples
superb role in
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
local
humans
.
Furthermore
, many
people
believe
sports
play
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is nothing more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leisure time because most
humans
the working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
every
day
. So,
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
various
sports
play idleness for
humans
especially for many young
generation
Change to a plural noun
generations
show examples
.
Besides
that, many
people
study or work in my country and
also
some
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
do not
sports
play and they
are think
Change the verb form
think
show examples
this
play extremely tedious.
For instance
,
many
Change preposition
in many
show examples
countries
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
are different physical
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
for children and
kid's
Change noun form
kids
show examples
might get free time
this
play. So, some young
humans
would do not physical
activity
. From one perspective, some say that
sports
play an important role in society because some
people
there are
Verb problem
have
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
health
Change preposition
with health
show examples
if
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
humans
various
Add a missing verb
do various
show examples
sports
play every
day
and
also
they might very
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
people
. So, society
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
extremely important physical
activity
for many
humans
.
In addition
sports
should for our life and
also
some
people
might
sports
play in the morning.
For example
my close friend
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was very
illed
Correct your spelling
ill
after she
is
Verb problem
played
show examples
different
sports
play every
day
. One
day
my friend
recover
Wrong verb form
recovered
show examples
from
Ill
Replace the word
illness
show examples
and
also
she is very
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
now.
Moreover
, physical
activity
benefits
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health
. In conclusion, many
people
should
physical
Change the word
physically
show examples
exercise every morning. I think
sports
important role in society and
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
.
Besides
that, some
people
think that playing
sports
is simply an
activity
people
do for leisure. Personally, I believe very important
sports
play in my life and
also
especially should to some young
people
.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your essay clearly, presenting one view per paragraph and connecting ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion, and that your conclusion summarizes your points.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence to make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Address the task directly, making sure to discuss both views and your own opinion thoroughly.
task achievement
Work on clarity and comprehensiveness in presenting your ideas, avoiding repetition and ensuring each paragraph contributes to your overall argument.
task achievement
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.

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