In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In today's world,
due to
the advanced development of technology, people
tend to have longer longevity than before. This
trend may be likely to lead to not only seires
of problems but Correct your spelling
series
also
bring some positive effects.
On the one hand, it is widely believed that old
generations may provide governments with pressure. Because of the lack of creativity, Fix the agreement mistake
older
erderly
Correct your spelling
elderly
orderly
people
have to face to
the reality of unemployment and retirement which may result in Change preposition
apply
dilemma
to live better lives. Correct article usage
a dilemma
For example
, old people
who are jobless are less likely to earn money to meet their needs, so they should fully depend on the charity money which the governments distributing
from the revenue. As Wrong verb form
distribute
what
is known, revenue is always helpful and significant for society to construct Correct pronoun usage
apply
infrasturtures
or to invest in science or medical studies to create an ideal living environment for some specific districts to boost the development of both economy and technology.
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
infrastructures
On the other hand
, it is also
worth arguing that living and working experiences of ageing
population are precious. As many Add an article
an ageing
the ageing
people
think highly of empirism nowadys
, these Correct your spelling
empiricism nowadays
expericences
from older Correct your spelling
experiences
people
may help young generations make progress in achieving better performances both
academic studies and career prospects. Change preposition
in both
For instance
, doctors with long life span
tend to stay in labs from time to time which are capable and knowledgeable to instruct their students to learn useful and effective treatments Fix the agreement mistake
spans
thus
some patients may access to
healing methods and gain the opportunity to treat diseases.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
ageing
population is able to bring both advantages and detrimental influences to the governments and the society.Correct article usage
the ageing
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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure your essay directly addresses the essay question. Focus more on clearly stating your opinion on the extent to which the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Providing a balanced discussion is good, but your conclusion should offer a clearer stance or synthesis.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, structure your paragraphs more clearly with distinct topic sentences that outline the main idea. Use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow between sentences and ideas, making your arguments easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs: an introduction, body paragraphs for each point of view, and a conclusion. Make the progression from one idea to the next smoother by summarizing points before moving on to the next.
coherence cohesion
To provide more supported main points, include more examples and evidence for your arguments. Personal or general examples are fine, but they should clearly support the point you're making within that paragraph.
task achievement
Work on the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas by ensuring every paragraph expands on the point mentioned in its topic sentence, avoiding repetition and irrelevant information.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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