IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be disadvantages of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organisation #be #case
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We live in
the
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a
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 world where
the
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a
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 number of individuals
prefer
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prefers
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 to
working
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work
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 for
oneself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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, rather than to be staff for a company or organization.
Although
Correct word choice
However
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, there are some difficulties
of
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with
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 independence.
This
 essay will discuss why it is happening and some disadvantages of self-employment.
Firstly
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First
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 of all, the main aim of self-employment is to be
freedom
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free
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.
This
 is because
,
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apply
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 there are no
any
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apply
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schedules and extra tasks which
is
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are
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 given by
employer's
Correct article usage
the employer's
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 manager.
People
 who are
independence
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independent
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 able to choose their own deadlines and plans.
For example
,
Correct article usage
a person
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person
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a person
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 spends time with family and friends or
Correct subject-verb agreement
travels
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travel
Correct subject-verb agreement
travels
show examples
Change preposition
to lots
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lots
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to lots
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 of countries without any asks. In fact,
This kind
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These kinds
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 of
people
 are more creative and constantly striving to achieve new results than company employees.
Thus
, many
people
 want to start their own business. There are
also
 some disadvantages of
this
.
Firstly
, self-employers should struggle to work with teamwork.
By reason
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Reason
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of
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apply
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, they
works
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work
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 alone and
has
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have
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 difficulty working with a team. If
people
 do not solve problems with partners, they face many
complexity
Change to a plural noun
complexities
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.
Secondly
, individuals who work for themselves have a hard time running their own
business
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businesses
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 if they don't have enough knowledge.
For instance
,
staffs
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staff
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 do not think about
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 problems , because they do what they are given to do.
Therefore
, Like two sides of a coin, everything has difficulties
To conclude
, communities starting to move to a recently developed working system, which is working one-self. Working oneself brings more freedom for its workers. Unfortunately, it is
also
 important to underline that self-employed has its own minus, which can be seen from the lack of knowledge
for
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of
show examples
 management systems and teamwork.
Hence
, to decide whether we want to work in companies or freelance, we have to understand our career paths.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Ensure you fully address all parts of the task by discussing both reasons for choosing self-employment and its disadvantages in a balanced way. Expand more on each point with detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, use a variety of linking words to create smoother transitions between sentences. While your essay is structured, clearer connections can make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate more specific examples to support your main points. This adds depth to your essay and demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic. Avoid generalizations without backing them with concrete instances.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
What to do next:
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