At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays several countries have
the
really big difference between amounts of aged and Correct article usage
a
youthful
humans. There are some benefits and losses in Correct word choice
young
this
case. No doubt, that a huge quantity of blood is the pledge of Correct article usage
a nation
nation
existence. Change noun form
nation's
Otherwise
, the minimum of pensioners means that medicine doesn’t work.
The main advantage to have
a developed Change preposition
of having
economics
is a young population. They allow the state’s life system to function at full capacity. In accordance with the above, if the country has Replace the word
economy
got
a good demography it has Verb problem
apply
got
Verb problem
apply
the
own future. Change the word
its
For example
, The Russian Federation has big
problem Add an article
a big
at
Change preposition
in
this
part; the natural population decline is higher than its natural growth. The government had to provide special programs to support families which have several children. Despite this
, I believe that everyone will become mature in a
one day.
Time passes continuously and constantly, Correct article usage
apply
all
of us want to promote healthy ageing for a long life. There is no health without Correct word choice
and all
a
good medicine; especially it is important for aged people Correct article usage
apply
which
have given Correct pronoun usage
who
the
debt Correct article usage
apply
for
the Motherland. Of course, it’s their right to have highly qualified medical care. If the government can’t provide Change preposition
to
this
need, it will be doomed. For example
, at
Change preposition
in
early
Correct article usage
the early
1990’s
lots of families Change noun form
1990
have
emigrated from Unnecessary verb
apply
the
Kazakhstan by Correct article usage
apply
this
case. I am sure that situation will not appear again.
In conclusion, although
young adults can improve their ability to make future
of the state, Correct article usage
the future
but
without Remove the conjunction
apply
a
normal healthcare Remove the article
apply
from
Change preposition
apply
it
, there are no perspectives. A government should Correct pronoun usage
apply
therefore
has
in Change the verb form
have
at
the country.Change preposition
apply
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task achievement
Ensure a clear, direct thesis statement in your introduction to more effectively outline your argument.
coherence cohesion
Focus on developing clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct grammar and spelling errors, as these can detract from your overall message.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures and richer vocabulary to make your essay more engaging and to better demonstrate your language proficiency.
task achievement
Provide more detailed, specific examples that directly support your claims. This will make your argument more convincing.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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